and said "I Love You."<P>I usually end phone calls to him with I love you...but I've been saying it only occasionally lately.<P>Last night he was out with the guys and when I said it, he kind of fumbled for his usual...'yeah, right' or 'yeah, okay.'<P>Today, I called him from the hotel to give him room # and phone # of hotel...and I said "I Love You" at the end...he said "I love you, too."<P>It has made me smile AAAAALLLLLLL day...<P>(and, no, I don't expect him to say it again for awhile...)<P>Cali

I'm glad for you Cali. I miss hearing it so much so I know exactly what it must feel like to finally have those three words reciprocated. <P>Enjoy the feeling. You deserve it. It sounds as if there will be more good surprises coming. I'll keep you in my prayers.

<P>How do you do smilie cart-wheels???<P>That's wonderful!! I'm just checking in for a minute to see how everyone is doing. I'm sooooo happy for you. that's wonderful. But youa re right.... don't expect it again - be pleasantly surprsed next time it happens too!

HEY - well I'M impressed! (Remember me- the no "I love you" for over a year??"<P>Good stuff Cali!

2 thumbs way up! Cool! High five! Way to go!<P>God knew what you needed. Keep your hopes up. It's good when you hear the words.<P>("From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks..." Proverbs)

<P>So happy for you!!! I know the first time I heard those words out of my H's mouth (after not hearing it for a year), really blew me away, I wanted to record it and listen to it over and over it made me SO happy.<P>I pray you will hear those words more and more over the coming months. <P>HbH

Dearest Cali,<P>I think our situations are very much alike. I wanted to share something with you that helped me through one of my darker moments this spring, after D-day. After one of our many "relationship" talks, and before I found this site, my H gave me a Tracy Chapman CD and asked me to listen to the 5th song. I listened to it as I drove home from the place we met to have drinks. I listened, sat in my car in the driveway and sobbed. It was my H's way of explaining. He could not do it himself. I have memorized the words:<P>"Sorry,<BR>Is all that you can say,<BR>Years gone by and still,<BR>Words don't come easily,<BR>Like sorry, like sorry.<P>Forgive me, <BR>Is all that you can say,<BR>Years gone by and still,<BR>Words don't come easily,<BR>Like forgive me, forgive me.<P>But you can say baby,<BR>Baby let me hold you tonight.<BR>Maybe if I told you the right words,<BR>At the right time,<BR>You'd be mine.<P>I love you,<BR>Is all that you can say,<BR>Years gone by and still,<BR>Words don't come easily,<BR>Like I love you, I love you.<P>But you can say baby,<BR>Baby can I hold you tonight.<BR>Maybe if I told you the right words,<BR>At the right time,<BR>You'd be mine.<P>Baby can I hold you tonight.<BR>Maybe if I told you the right words,<BR>At the right time,<BR>You'd be mine. You'd be mine."<P>I learned that my H cannot express his feelings in words. I learned that my H is afraid that all he has to offer any woman is sex. I learned that my H shared my fears of rejection and abandonment.<P>I know he offers much more than sex. He just hasn't made that discovery for himself yet. So for now, I have learned to appreciate the connection we have.<P>By the way, I also like Matchbox 20 Madseason. My favorite CD for a very long time was Sade, Lover's Rock, especially "King of Sorrow".<P>Cali, he didn't slip up. He does love you. He is just still confused about himself - how and why he could jeopardize everything important in his life for something so selfish.<P>You are obviously a woman who is worthy and deserving of love. He will see that.<P>I have not yet read "Mastery of Love". I thought I had read every relationship book and self-improvement book written. I will read it. Thank you for the recommendation.<P>Although I don't always post, I try to check in every day. Please let me know if I can help in any way. I do sincerely admire your strength.<P>Newwoman<P>

Dear Cali,<P>I was just thinking about you and wondered how you were. Has he "slipped up" again?<P>Newwoman

Nope...<P>But I'm about to go and snuggle on the couch with him and see what 'develops.'<P>Thanks newwoman...<P>I was thinking about you today to...what you wrote really touched me...<P><BR>Cali

Dear Cali,<P>I am certain the snuggle went well! Enjoy!!<P>I have already had a wonderful evening (snuggles and more) and am satisfying my addiction to MB while my H snores peacefully in our bed.<P>We have been on this roller coaster ride for at least 18 months. He really believed he loved her. He has changed his opinion.<P>I have a good feeling about both of our marriages.<P>Newwoman

So great to hear some good news. I hope it spreads through this group like wildfire.<P>You are in my prayers as always

The snuggle went well .<P>Interesting occurrence....in the middle of our "snuggle," H asked, "Did you do this with anyone this weekend?" He asked it a couple of times...<P>...All I could do was giggle at first...I mean really...who does he think I am...some femme fatale? able to sleep w/ a man in only one weekend? (I'll leave that to someone else...)...<P>I finally replied..."only in my dreams, only in my dreams..." <P>What do ya'll think? I think "he's thinking" about me and the possibilities of losing me....hmmm...<P>Cali

I would say so!!!<P>My H slipped in the middle of moving about 3 weeks ago, I went up and smelled him, and said MMMMMM you smell nice (wasn't looking for anything more) and he bent over and kissed me, hadn't done that in months. Was real nice.<P>But then he went on down to FL after driving with girls and me to SD. So sad!<P>He called alomost every night from there though, and I found out that she was not traveling back with him to UT and he was sleeping on her couch and I thought how ironic!! I think he waits to hang up to see if I am going to say I love you. One night I'll through it out there to just mess him up.<P>When do you start back to school? I mean with the kids in class? <P>Dawn

Ahhh...a kiss....that would be nice....<P>Kids start on Wednesday...I have been going flat out since last Tuesday and am already tired...I think I did way too much 'nothing' this summer! ...<P>I had an all-weekend training at a resort in Palm Springs this weekend...from 7:30 a.m. on Friday through 3:00 p.m. on Sunday...I was soo busy I can't believe my H thinks I had time to 'mess' with someone...<P>I am still in disbelief that he'd think it...and that the thought of it would 'bother' him...<P>It has made me smile all day....<P>Cali

I would be thrilled if my H showed that much interest in my life right now.<P>I think that it is a good sign that H is a little miffed about you seeing someone else. I would re-assure him right away though that you have everything that you want with him and have no desire to look elsewhere. He might think that you would do it out of revenge or that he would deserve to be cheated on.<P>Stay strong, and please say a prayer for me, yours seem to be answered! Ha <BR>Dawn