There must be something in the air today. I mean is it just me or are there many of us really depressed today? <P> I don't know what happened. Last night I was in good spirits. Then went to bed and could not sleep at all. Everything just kept running through my mind tormenting me. <P> Then I started asking myself the very questions many are posting today. Do I want to go on? Do I want to even try anymore? Why do I love my WS? What do we have in common these days? ON AND ON!!! GRRRR!<P> So it seems there is something in the air today. And I don't like it.<P> For others having such a bad day I suggest doing nothing.<BR>Get through the day and night and hopfully tomorrow things will be a little clearer.<P> Depression sucks if even for a day.<P> jd

Hi, jd!<P>I'm sorry you are down today. I'm not, but I have certainly had my days like that. Just wanted to say hello. Do something nice for yourself - something you enjoy doing - watch a silly movie, cook yourself something special.... <P>You are doing the right thing - believe me though, I know what it's like to want to quit. Keep hanging in there with us. You're not alone.<P>

I was having a pretty good day until this evening, and now I'm starting to get the blues.<P>But I agree with Faith. There have been plenty of down days and times I wanted to quit. Ultimately, I'll be able to hold my head up high, becuase I refused to give up on my marriage and my vows.<P>Hang in there, tomorrow WILL be better!

Thanks Faith and S_B_T,<P> Yeah, I have had these bad days also and generally things are much better tomorrow. <P> I noticed others having the same kind of day as myself and want them to know that usually things DO look better the next day. <P> Depression sucks! <P> jd

jd,<BR>I know those bad days, I am having more of a bad week. W (Keep Smiling) and I are having some issues this week. I have been feeling like I can't continue fixing our marriage anymore. I keep seeing others who have been in recovery for a year or two and can't go more than a day thinking about the A. Gosh, I am only 2 months into this and I feel like there isn't a light at the end of the tunnel. I have only been getting 3 hours of sleep a night b/c I can't get my mind off the A and to see others a year into who still think of it daily isn't what I'm looking forward too. Everyone is saying I can expect a whole year to get back to "normal". This past 2 months have been so draining, I feel like another 8 to 10 months is too much to handle. I'm loosing my positive attitude. <BR> <BR>W (KS) and I had a talk last night and it seems we are on the same page, as far as feeling like throwing in the towel. How depressing, normally I am the positive one and I am the one giving my W encouragement, telling her we'll make it. Last night I couldn't, I couldn't because I don't know if I believe we'll make it. She posted a thread on throwing in the towel today, I probably should be responding to that but this seemed more the place. I'm sure you were looking for short and sweet posts but I felt I had to vent....besides, you asked

Hi jd. Sorry that you are having a bad day. I know what that's like we all do. Guess it's just part of the rollercoaster. I really don't like rollercoasters anymore I've been on the ride long enough. Just hang in there. Faith's right do something special for you. Tomorrow is another day and you've made it this far so tomorrow will definitely be better. Take care.<BR>cybil

well, great.... I woke up depressed this morning. I don't usually remember my dreams, but I had a bad one this morning... nothing terrible, just a scnario of one of those bad conversations with H before D-day. <P>sigh..... weekends are terrible for me. I dont' hear a word from him. So I always wonder where is he and with whom - why won't he talk to me....<P>Well, I'm going to church - have to make sure my nephews go too. I'm sure I'll feel better later.<P>see ya later.

Yesterday was pretty good most of the day and then toward evening I started to feel down. So I called my mom and talked to her for a while and felt better the rest of the night.<P>Today I just feel sort of numb. Not good, not bad, just somewhere in the middle.<P>I guess I should go read the paper I got up early to go out and get. Plus it being Sunday all the home fixit shows are on. <P>p.s. Hey Faith! I have never been one to remember dreams even to the point that I wonder if I even have them. In the last 5 weeks I have been having a lot of dreams. I still don't remember much about them, but I am now aware that I am having them. Weird.<p>[This message has been edited by sad_but_true (edited August 26, 2001).]

Hi J,<P>How are you doing today? Hope the sun is shining and you are able to give it a smile or two back!! <P>I have had a bad week. Started out with a semi nice anniversary, turned bad with 3 OW calls (even though they went unanswered, it hurt while we were celebrating no less)..... yuck!! Then got worse with a call that actually came through (no caller id due to private caller - going to have to stop accepting those). Now anxiety attacks and ruined 1 week's vacation since I did not really accomplish much of anything. H is in limbo and I want to move on. House is getting semi packed up and is in that awful cluttered stage. What I didn't want is happening. Ya know?<P>Anyway through all this mess, I also had a dream. See there was a reason why I had to share my troubles today. While I am not a dream interpreter, I liked this one. <P>It was a dream with a famous and handsome man (I won't say who because you will all laugh). Anyway we were riding in a 'limo' (ha ha, H drives limos) there was a little girl about 4 years old (supposedly our daughter) and this famous man was my H (ok, so it's my dream, let me have some fun ). Famous H had hurt his shoulder (I think while doing a movie stunt....oops now you know he is an actor.... oh well, there are a lot of handsome actors....use your imagination and no to you older readers it was not George Clooney!!! That was another dream LOL). <P>I asked my famous H if he missed his friends, for we had been away a while. He said he missed us being us. All that 'work' he was doing kept us from being a family. He gently took and kissed my hand. He looked at me and smiled. <P>Wow, I woke up and thought wow, that's what I want. I want to smile. Look over and saw a man sleeping (different man, hmmmm..... my real H), this man is very depressed, grumpy and doesn't make us smile. Why? He doesn't smile. <P>Ok, but what I need is to smile. Not that forced stuff but genuine smile. Laughter can come later. Love can follow that. But smiling? His heart does not have to make a comitment for that. So now (thanks to that famous man - I'll have to send him a thank you note - ) I know my next step. It is a small one for many but a necessary one for me. It can also help me see where to go from here. <P>Yes, I have learned to step back. Take smaller steps and heal all at the same time. So I have decided to take the lemons of my awful week and turn it into lemonade. Put a lot of sugar (smiles) and go forward. <P>Sorry for the long story. Just my nature I guess. <P>L. <BR> <BR>

Well at least the bad day is over. Can you stand a joke? I saw a movie (America's Sweethearts) today and from what I understand, Billy Crystal wrote it. I think he is so funny.<P>In the movie, he told this joke,<BR>A Rabbi was counseling a man with marital problems who was considering taking some poison to end it all (something like that), so anyway, the Rabbi tells the husband, Listen, I spoke to your wife for THREE HOURS today...Take the poison! <P>I thought it was funny... My husband thought it was downright hilarious! I laughed because I thought it was funny but not THAT funny!!! H was just cracking up! Oh well, I hope it cheered you up a little bit...<P>Or how about this one? A man said his wife told him she was a FOOL when she married him. He said, "Oh honey, you were so pretty that I didn't even notice!"<P>Or this one? A wife asked her husband to take her someplace that she hadn't been in a long time and he said, Okay, how about the kitchen! <P>Sometimes things can only get so bad, you know, they can only go down so low. Then, there is only one way to go and that is UP. God is working it out for your good. Think of the good because it could always be worse.

Absolutly.<P> Thanks BtDt, I needed a good laugh. <P> Come on now SEM, you know those were either funny, or stupid enough that ya just had ta laugh. <P> jd

You're welcome! <P>At least you are starting off smiling for today. Just for today... Hang in there kiddo. {{{{{hugs}}}}}