You know, we (BS) go through many days being the ol' doormat. No affection, no intimacy, no conversation, not being told where we stand, and yet, something keeps us struggling on through the pain and other crap. We are constantly reminded that the reward for our efforts could be incredibly good.<P>I had a pretty bad week last week with little or no feedback or much else from my WS. Friday, I took the day off work and with the three boys, we drove an hour and a half to one of those national chain, take all of your money, amusement parks. We had a pretty good day despite the park being tremendously understaffed. At one point late in the afternoon, my wife left with the older two boys to go on a "big kid" ride and I volunteered to stay with the youngest in "louneyland" or something like that. We spent 90 minutes waiting to go on two different, two minute long rides. I was enjoying the time with the youngest and actually wasn't thinking about my problems. <P>It was almost our turn for the second ride when I looked up and saw her. There was my wife, waiting for us on the other side of the ride. You know, my heart still jumped. I still got the whatever-you-want-to-call-it feeling when I saw her. It almost surprised me in a way. It reminded me that yes, I want to keep going and make this work. I hope everyone struggling on MB is able to have those feelings, those reminders, at least once in a while. <BR>SG

Just want to let you know, that's what keeps me going. It's that old "skip a hearbeat when you see them or hear them" thing that has never stopped from the moment you met.<P>Thnaks for the reminder!

Sprayer:<P>Oh, yes...that's it. I have tried for the past 6months since DDay to look at anyone else and get those "butterflies". Nothing, nada...only when I see or sometimes only think about my H the WS do I feel so "twitterpated"...<P>Thanks for the post. Keep smiling.

Sprayerguy, <P>You nailed it on the head. We have been beat over and over by the WS. Taking crap everyday. Not knowing what tomorrow will bring. Just as you thought that you can't take it anymore, you glance over and your heart melts. Sometime I wish I don't feel that way so that I won't get hurt 5 minutes later by something crazy the W will do or say. Go Figure.<P>Dino

God has blessed you with an overwhelming love for your wife, don't listen to negative advice. You will be rewarded for your efforts (obedience) as far as what God would instruct you to do. And even if the outcome isn't what you wanted, those rewards will be evident to you someday. Pray for your wife, thank God for her life and the lives of your children. Ask Him to make your love for her even greater, but more importantly ask Him to make your love for him even more great. Your efforts may go unseen by your wife and friends, whoever, but God keeps track and he is smiling down on the man you are and continue to be. <BR>God bless.

Without even reading what anyone else has posted, I just want to say...boy...do I know where you coming from...<P>My heart skips those beats ALL THE TIME! It is so hard to believe that we can still feel so passionately about our WSs...but we can and we do...<P>All I can say is savor those moments and ENJOY THEM...they are for YOU...<P>Cali<P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>

Absolutly Sprayer,<P> I have many times been at the end of my rope. Thinking I can't keep trying, keep hurting. Then something happens and I melt at the wonder of her. <P> What I would give to be able to give those feelings back to her. So that she would feel that way again, towards me. <P> God, grant me this one thing. Let my wife love me like that again. Let her eyes shine for only me, as mine do for her.<BR>Forgive me for not listening to You in the beginning. Give me the strength to continue the fight for recovery. Give these people many more of those feelings SprayerGuy felt last Friday. Even more Lord, give that to their WSs toward them. Amen.<P> jd