Some of the posts I've read today made me feel guilty for contacting my attorney. Don't get me wrong, I still love my husband, but I love the person he was, not the person he has become. He has totally changed his appearance. He now looks like a bouncer. He was a good Christian man, clean cut, and honest. Now he cusses, makes fun of Christians, drinks, etc. I am really worried about the condition of his soul. He refused to go to church with me this last time he came back home, refused to continue counseling, wouldn't read the self-help books, etc. I know that Satan is responsible for this, and I am continuing to pray about it. However, after 3 times of coming back crying saying how much he loves me, and then having him leave again just because the OW contacted him, and he can't resist the "passion", I 've just had it. I don't know if he will be back again or not, but it's absolutely destroying me. I have to move on with my life. At least I know I did everything I could. Any words of wisdom or encouragement would be appreciated!

When you know it; you know it. Just keep praying for your H to recover and get out of Satan's clutches. That's all you can do. If it's destroying you, it's not what God wants for you. It doesn't mean it's completely over. It just means that for your health/emotional and physical, you can't work on your marriage right now. Isn't it amazing how we can take on guilt that we have NO business taking on. Please be encouraged that what you have said is true. YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY COULD!! One person did not break the marriage and one person cannot put it back together again. You planted the seeds, you tried to help them grow. It's not your fault that your H kept putting PLANT KILLER on them. Pray for God to give you peace that you need in making this decision.

I can understand about the it's over, it's not, it's over, it's not deal. I know how hard that is to deal with, one person can only do so much. It takes two to make a marriage and if your H doesn't/won't work on marriage you need to take care of you. I wish you the best.

Can you get up each day and look yourself in the mirror and honestly say" I did everything I could to fix my marriage?" If you can say that you have to accept the reality that no matter how much you want something, you cant make another person do something they dont want to or feel a way they dont. Its a bitter pill to swollow. However, it gets to the point where you have to do whats right for you. A person can only take so much emotional and psychological abuse. The continued agony you put yourself thru by trying to hold onto something thats not there is incredible. I know I was the b/s I wanted it to work out so bad, I loved my wife. But as the emotional and psychological agoney continues the door to your hear starts to close. Does it hurt? Hell yes. But you have to look out for yourself. There does come a time to throw in the towel and say "When". You are the only one who can make that decission. You will know when. I cant explain how. There is nothing magical you feel or dont feel. You will know when to give up and the door to your heart will close on the W/S. Be prepared for the hurt. However, I can tell you that hurt will be replaced by anger as you have never known it, especially to someone you once loved unconditionally. Will you be heartbroken? Yes. But put yourself first. Is it fair? No. Is it right? No. Its reality and only you can deal with your reality. Your perception is you reality.