I have been worried about you all day, my prayers are with you right now. I have to go to work in a few... I hope all is well, or at least better for you. I'll check back after work.

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Hi Cherise & jdmac1,<P>Yes, I am doing better. Actually been posting again. This is my therapy. Stress points still there. Bad thoughts subsiding. Able to be more productive at work. <P>I am working towards letting go. H is talking about coming home but I am skeptical. No confirmation on either side. Back to square -1 again. This time, I am better because I have actually progressed. I am learning it is safe to let go. <P>If H wants his family back, it will be on his efforts not just mine. That is what I am learning and feel ok about that. If he is not willing to put forth the effort, then we split. That is ok. I know as of now, that I have done my best. I can look anyone in the face and said I gave it my best shot. <P>Thank you for caring. I will stil be here a while. <P>L. <BR><p>[This message has been edited by Orchid (edited August 29, 2001).]

Hi Orchid,<P>I am so glad to hear today is better for you. It is amazing how one sinks into such deep valleys and and then the next day feel better. I guess you have to start to worry when you don't come out of it....<P>It is so hard to look into the future...and not know what is going to happen. It is scary. <P>I signed up for a class today that is being offered in Blue Springs in KC. It is called Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends based on a book by Dr. Bruce Fisher. I bought and read the book...seems like I have read all the relationship books lately. I am hoping the class will help me to move on. Have anyone been to that class? <P>Anyway, I am glad your day is starting better. I really admire you. You have been an inspiration to us all.<P> Pat<BR> <P>