This question is for the WS. If you were in a life threatening situation (auto accident, emergency surgery, etc.), with your spouse/family and OP in equal distance from you. Who would you call?<P>You are in the hospital, you are in emergency, your life is in danger, you are allowed to make 1 call to have someone come and take care of you, make decisions for you, etc. Who would it be?<P>Is this a silly question? Maybe. After all the talk is said and done, here is a test of true enduring love. Ok, you Ws's who would you call?<P>L.

NO Brainer Orchid...W!!!!<P>(But there are some, that would do that, and then call OP to arrange the *safe* time to talk/see them I bet... )<P>Trueheart

I would call my spouse if he had shown kindness and caring through the years. However, if he had not shown love and caring for many years, I probably would not call him. I guess I am just too stubborn.

Orchid.<P>My H the WS was just standing over me while I read your post.<BR> Guess what? No answer.<P>I said, Lou it's an opportunity for you to get involved with MB.<P>No answer.<P>I think he thinks (as usual) that I'm getting "bad" ideas or influences from this site. What an idiot. He has no idea how much we all support each other.

Thanks for your answers. Still fishing for more responses. Nope this is not a test. Just a question to help a BS in need. OK? <P>Thanks,<BR>L.

I am pretty pragmatic, I'd call whoever could best manage the medical issues if needed would be absolutely no emotion involved at all, whoever in my cold academic assessment could make the best medical decisions. As it turns out my wife has a medical background, so that is a plus, but my cousin Laura is a doctor, so would probably call her.<P>

Well let me think about that ....<BR>Ok I'm teasing. My Wonderful H of course. I love you SEM

I'm the BS but I'm going to reply anyway. When my H applied for his current job, we were not together. He listed me as the emergency contact for him should anything happen. Didn't ask if it was ok with me, just did it. Later, I asked him about it and he said that it was because if anything happened to him and he was dying, my face is the last one he wanted to see. <P>He has since moved in with OW but recently told me that I'm still listed as his emergency contact. He changed all his info ie address, phone, etc but didn't change that. He could've even put a family member for that but didn't. Still me. I believe he would call me.<P>MS

Thanks for your responses. Let me rephrase this question. The choices were BS or OP. Equal distance. This person is the one who would be making life choices in your behalf. Whether large or small, the choices would be done either for you or discussed with you. <P>Think about it. This can happen. For some maybe it already has. <P>Thanks,<BR>L.<BR>

O,<P>eww and y wife has such terrible bed side manner, as in none! i think id have to call my sister if i wanted sympathy and support!<P>the question the other day about having 3 days to live was similar, made me think hard about why i couldnt tell myself with confidence that i wouldnt at least want her to know. <P><P>------------------<BR>in loving service<BR>chaz

Without even asking my WH, I can answer that he'd contact me, for sure. <P>During our separation, there was an accident at work where he almost broke some of his toes, and tore the nails right off of a few. He didn't call here, just showed up at my door (after being driven here by his boss). I was somewhat happy that I was the first person he thought of to look after him, but at the same time, I was pissed that he 'assumed' I would be here. Double edged sword I guess.<P>Karen<BR>

Funny you should ask this question! I just returned home from Hawaii where I had to have emergency surgery. My husband was right there with me, no need to even call ... there would be no question in my mind who I would want by my side. We renewed our marriage vows a few days later (that was planned, the surgery was not) ... it was touch and go for a little while and it made me realize YET AGAIN what I was so "ready" to throw away months ago. <P>He is my family. OM isn't even a part of me anymore. Actually he does know what happened to me and couldn't be less concerned. EYES ARE WIDE OPEN now!!<P>------------------<BR><B>Formerly Struggling27</B><BR>E-mail:struggling27@hotmail.com

Interesting QQ.<P>My first response would be to say that if I absolutely knew that this was "the end" for me and that nothing I would do would have any kind of repercussions from it, and I had to make only one phone call from my "gut"... it would be to OM. He demonstrates far more "true caring" from an emotional level (not just practical level) about me than my H ever has in 20 years. In fact I was the one that was by OM's side when he had major surgery, staying with him before surgery, during the procedure and then after coming from recovery. <BR>In addition, since H travels most of the time, he has told me that if I should need to go to the hospital for any reason (I have a potentially life threatening condition chronically) that I should call a friend to come to the hospital to take the children until he returns, and he once left for a business trip while our son was in the hospital, leaving me to stay in the hospital with no relief and a friend taking care of the other children. So that was rather thoughtless. So, I guess I have some history to base my answer to this question on. <BR>I have the gut feeling that my H would be there if it were convenient for him to be there (and not an inconvenience to work), while I know that my OM would be there NO MATTER WHAT and I know that I could count on him. With H, it would be a crap shoot on what to expect.<BR>Answer your QQ?????