Hi to everyone, I have another ? for all of you. here goes My WH has had an EA/PA with same woman, I know for a fact that they had very fufulling sex, I never realized that SF was one of my H EN, He always told me that it wasn't. Him and I had great sex, thats one thing that was never a problem up until a year and a half ago. I am feeling that I can never compete with OW in the SF,and if we ever were to work things out I may not satify him anymore and he may always look to fufill that need some where else, Has anyone ever felt this way?? Is this normal feelings?? Sally

Sorry for the dumb ?, nobody seems to have an answer, I guess its just my insecurity. With everything WH has done to me, he was a wonderful H and father but he is not the same person,but yet I can't imagine my life without him. HAve agreat night everyone Love Sally

no no no no.. I'm sorry no one answered your question..<P>I too have felt this.. and I will worry about the same things you are right now.. when my wife comes home.<P>I think your feelings are valid and warrant answers. Of course these feelings are normal.<P>Its not your insecurity. Well maybe it is.. and if it is.. I have the same problem also.. so don't feel alone and in your own boat.. because.... I'm paddlin right beside ya. <P>Hang in there.. I don't know how to tell you its going to be different until I get there. Let me know when you do though okay <P>------------------<BR>Semper Fi,<P><B>Husband2You</B><BR>«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»<BR><I>···In the valley of the blind the one eye'd man is King···</I><P>· E-mail: <B> husband2you@petroleum.org </B> · ICQ: <B><A HREF="http://wwp.icq.com/1206499" TARGET=_blank>1206499</A></B> · Formerly: <B>E m p t y</B> ·

SS,<P>I understand what you are saying about feeling like you are in competition. I really don't know what to tell you. I'm here if you want to talk though. The best thing I can tell you is even is SF is one of his ENs, he has to have others. If you had great sex life before, why can't you now?<P>------------------<BR>Dumplin <P>E-mail ajowens@dfa.state.ar.us

Thanks h2y,dumplin for your replys I feel like such a fool asking such a ?, but I can't help it. Thanks h2y its good to know there is someone paddlin next to me. Dumplin the passion is gone in our sexual relationship he does not desire me at this time, believe me I have tried everything, I refuse to get rejected and feel like I am begging for it, I have to much respect for myself. Sally

its not a silly question.. look back for my posts and you'll see the same question I posted a while back.. but my question regarded size..and fulfillment.. now that was a dump question.. asking a bunch of women if size mattered

Oh no, don't go begging. That will kill the passion faster than anything. I really don't know what to tell you on this one, just wanted to let you know I'm here and listening.<P>H2Y--I don't even know what to say-you've completely floored me. LOL!!<P>------------------<BR>Dumplin <P>E-mail ajowens@dfa.state.ar.us

Thanks dumplin for being there, guess I should just face reality, for now. Sally

Get you some "toys" if you need to--LOL! Not trying to make light of the situation, just trying to make you smile.<P>------------------<BR>Dumplin <P>E-mail ajowens@dfa.state.ar.us

Hi Sally:<P>No, it's not a dumb question. <P>SF is my WS main EN and he has always claimed relationship with OW is incredible in that area. True lately he has been saying that sex is not that special anymore...I can still see that looming as a huge barrier for me in the near future.<P>What to do??? Well, I decided I would just let him lead me here...I intend to sit him down and discuss my anticipated feelings of inadequancy and how vunerable I will be in this area for a while. We have already briefly discussed this and he seems to feel it will not be a problem...that's a man for you....I myself would like to go slow...but I know this is so vital to the recovery that I will probably just have to go with the mood when it comes.<P>I kinda wish I had gotten more experience while we were separated (just kidding)...at least then I could have said, "Well, __________ and _________ thought I was wonderful in bed....can't understand why it's so different with you...maybe their technique was better. Maybe they knew how to turn me on." I know...shame on me...but it would pay him back wouldn't it. <P>No, I'd never do that...but I've come to realize that so much of our problems lay in not discussing things and not being honest about how we feel...that's not going to happen this time...even if it's hard to admit that I have these feelings. I have a problem with anyone thinking I am not in control but I'm having to learn to let myself be vunerable.<P>Anyway, that's my plan...hope it works.<P>Faye

Not a dumb question at all. I'd love to elaborate, maybe later.<P><BR>

Hi,SS<P>I am the BS, and W is the WS. The best way I can answer your question is that your H has tasted the forbidden fruit.Sex with you will never be or feel the same to him. That does not mean it can't be fulfilling or at some point even better than it was before. It just won't be the same. I too, had questions about size and so forth, and to my suspicion I was right, size does matter. Not a whole lot I can do about that! We are now working toward an even closer intimacy than sex. That being a spirtual oneness. It takes time and patience, but after 3 months we are starting to see results. And believe it or not, that level of intimacy, makes sex better than before.<P>Hang in there and let us know how it is going. Good Luck!!!<P>------------------<BR>Burned

I am the BS and I have those inadequate feelings too. Knowing that someone else was involved in that way with my H and knowing that it was wanted on both parties. There are things that I know about the relationship that bothers me, but I guess it is a natural feeling that we feel inadequate in the sexual behavior as well as the emotional and physical attraction also. Talk, Talk, Talk, with spouse and see what happens. I really don't know what else to tell you.

SS<P>You said, the two of you also had great sex. And, believe it or not YOU have been meeting more of your H's EN's, than you may think.<P>Try not to become obsessed with ow. (i know, stupid comment at this point.) The ow is only a symptom of your marriage problems. She is not the problem.