Just wanted to give everyone an update:<P>When I posted my "Final Post" I was very suicidal & just at a total loss. Nothing seemed to be going right; not even this site.<P>As terrible as I felt, I still "craved" my MB friends responses. I realized how important this "therapy" is to me. <P>Yesterday H & I had marriage counseling. It was awful we cried & pretty much camr to the conclusion that we were driving each other crazy.<P>My H has so many problems that he doesn't understand. <BR>He is a wonderful intelligent person who doesn't drink, smoke, gamble. to drugs. He was brought up by the most anal mother in the world & he was raised with these ridiculous preconceived notions about what a family is suppossed to be & what the roles of H & W and M & F etc etc.<P>I went out last nite w/ a friend (she's going thru the same stuff) (it's like an epidemic in my town) we talked alot about our situations I cried the whole way home dreading being w/ Lou I told him I was going to run away or kill myself I went beserk.<P>For some unknown reason my brain became funstional today..I saw how hard my H is trying how much he really loves me how terrible he really feels...<P>I decided to stop torturing myself, him & the kids.<P>I called him @ work ...said meet me @ noon<BR>We took the jeep out on the dunes (like the song)<P>Do you like Pina Colada's making love on the dunes of the Cape.<P>Well, we did. No Pina Coladas, but we had a wonderful afternoon delight (I barely obsessed) & when I did I kept my mouth shut & put a smile on my face instead.<P><BR>Thankyou all for listening to me & helping me. I know I will probably have a set back or two..but I feel better & I feel on the road to something ...Recovery?<P>Now I can help others..because I NEVER thought I would see this day.<P>Lisa<BR>(look for a new username) <BR>

louser I'm so glad you decided to stay. Happy day. Sound like you and H hd a great day. Remember live for the moment. OMG I can't believe you said that there is an epidemic of this in your town. Mine too! Everyone I know is ither separating or going through a divorce. My girlfriend she is the WS and I went out for dinner tonight and hd a few drinks.It wa such a release. I had a good time. So happy for you. Take care.<BR>cybil

I am so happy for you louser, and I am also glad you decided to stay. Everyone here is so supportive, this site really helps. Hopefully I will be able to help someone. I know those awful feelings and how they take over, you wish you weren't here anymore, the pain is so unbearable, but we have to be strong we will get through. I don't think it could get much worse then this we are at bottom, there is only one way to go UP!!! Hugs and prayers Sally

Lisa,<P>You have really progressed. Sometimes fast and other times slowly. I am glad. Please take care of yourself and don't wear your heart out on your sleeve. If your H is trying and you have the strength to be there with him, I am wishing you the best. <P>Know that you have been where many have been and some of us still are. These lessons in life we are facing are some of the toughest. <P>I hope your road to recovery is one that makes you happy.<P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>

Orchid.. you there?<P>------------------<BR>Semper Fi,<P><B>Husband2You</B><BR>«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»§«¤»¥«¤»<BR><I>···In the valley of the blind the one eye'd man is King···</I><P>· E-mail: <B> husband2you@petroleum.org </B> · ICQ: <B><A HREF="http://wwp.icq.com/1206499" TARGET=_blank>1206499</A></B> · Formerly: <B>E m p t y</B> ·

Hi Louser:<P>Funny how a few days and a little different attitude can change how we feel about things. I'm so glad you stayed because I feel your situation has so many positives that others on this lack...there is possibility in your marriage and in your WS. <P>I believe I have read somewhere that one important thing we can do for someone who is suicidal or has thoughts about the meaninglessness of life is to remind them that life changes day to day and tomorrow they may not see things in such a dark light...guess you are evidence of that...although I don't really think you seriously were considering anything so final...you were just reaching out for help. Isn't it wonderful you found MB where help is just a keystroke away? I noticed the difference in your posting to others...how positive you were again. Remember you are now part of that network, part of the support system, you will give and in giving you will receive.<P>Sounds like your attitude change has made a change in your relationship...a different approach can make a difference can't it? Especially when the old way wasn't working.<P>Welcome back again.<P>Faye<p>[This message has been edited by buffy (edited September 07, 2001).]

Louser,<P>I lurked you questions and responses all the time.. I didn't have much to offer, but I'm glad your still here. <P>