Once you find out about the affair, how long do you let it go on before you give up? Some threads here make me think that people let this go on for weeks.
I just found out on 12/6. I guess I thought he would end it immediately since he felt so crappy for hurting me so bad. He didn't though. He couldn't get over her. So, he still continued to call her periodically. It finally came to a blow this weekend when after she and I talked, she called him to end it. She is having her own problems with thinking her boyfriend is having an affair. She told her boyfriend about the affair with my husband and his only question, was "is it over?" She told him yes and he has asked no other questions! Can you believe it? I'm not sure what to make of all this.
The fact that my husband could not let go of her has hurt me more than finding out about the affair. It tells me he must really love her, or is obsessed with her or something. He did try to end it with her about 6 weeks ago, they both told me that. She was going through some bad times then and it was not a good time for ending it so he stuck with her. If he had ended it then, I'd have never found out I guess. Now that he should'be ended it after me finding out, just makes him more attached to her than ever.
I guess now after my long story here, I was just wondering how long most of you let it go on and on and live in the same house, knowing it isn't over? thanks

I let it go on until I was sure about what was going on. Until I had some kind of plan in place. Until I had seen a counselor and done some exposure.

Wh would still be living at our house if I let him. Everybody has to set their own boundaries. My boundary is that if WH is still having contact with OW, then I will be angry and I do not want him in our house. He's in an apartment now.

Is this an answer?

My WW's OM work together. My WW can't just quit her job. We just can't afford it, which makes the NC issue very touchy. My wife has finally started to look for other jobs (but has not applied to any yet <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ) but at least she found somethings away from OM that sounds very interesting to her.
So in the mean time I'm **TRYING** to be patient and listen to her babbling.

Suzy,

I suggest you look up Cymanca's recent thread (Cerri, common denominators of failed marriages) and read Cerri's replys very carefully.

I think you will find your answer there, and in my opinion coming from one of the best.

thank you all for your responses.
I do believe it is over now. (I hope.) We've been trying really hard. He checks in with me several times a day, even though I have not really asked him to do so. He just knows that I don't trust him as far as I can see him. OW has had to contact him a couple times via text messaging regarding a job that he has coming up. She is his contact person. Once this job is done, there should be no reason for them to ever contact each other again.
Weaver, I did check out that thread. thank you, it did give me a lot of info.