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<small>[ December 31, 2004, 04:12 AM: Message edited by: dyinghere ]</small>
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Nope, don't contact her. Have you fully exposed the A?
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NOWAY!!!!
Don't give ow any satifaction of you calling her, it'll get you more upset and then what? It's wasted energy that's forsure and she doesn't deserve an ounce of it!!!
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Hi Dying:
Are you interested in following the MB Principles? That would mean not LBing and developing a PLAN A. That would be the first step towards working on your marriage.
We had this discussion before didn't we?
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<small>[ December 31, 2004, 04:12 AM: Message edited by: dyinghere ]</small>
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mimi1254: <strong> Are you interested in following the MB Principles? That would mean not LBing and developing a PLAN A. That would be the first step towards working on your marriage. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> great advice
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Just sometimes cant figure out why he wont make a stand jeez one way or another what is wrong with the man </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He is in a FOG. He is addicted. He is having an A. You know this DYING. Stay on course.
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Here is what happened when I confronted my WW's OM. We argued on the phone for about a half hour. Afterward my WW sent an email to OM saying she is sorry I spoke to him that way. He shouldn't have to endure that kind of verbal abuse. Did she feel sorry for the way he spoke to me? Hell no! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
Anyway, I would say save your energy.
MIF
<small>[ December 22, 2004, 02:01 AM: Message edited by: MIF? ]</small>
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<small>[ December 31, 2004, 04:13 AM: Message edited by: dyinghere ]</small>
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What are your WH's Primary ENs, in your opinion?
What needs is the OW meeting?
What needs are you meeting?
Let us help you with your PLAN A.
Try to stop focusing on what he is doing.
Let's turn the focus over to you and what you can do. There's nothing you can do to stop him from having this A right now. You can only work on yourself, being the best person that you can be.
Believe us, the A will die its own death if you give it time.
Right now he is IN THE FOG. This is like a drunken stupor. All that he is focused on his his R with the OW. He is not able to be focused on being a parent or a husband. This is unfortunately the facts of this awful mess. I'm sorry. It's something that cannot be magically changed. It can only be changed through hard work and patience.
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There are very few instances where contacting the OW are warranted...but there are a few. Is she married? Have you spoken to her spouse? If she is unmarried, have you spoken to her parents? Have you exposed this affair to your husband's parents or siblings? If this is a work related affair....have you considered exposing at work?
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STAR:
The OW works in the office with them. DYIN's WH and the OW are colleagues. DYIN is the Office Manager. It's awful for her!!!!
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<small>[ December 31, 2004, 04:14 AM: Message edited by: dyinghere ]</small>
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<small>[ December 31, 2004, 04:14 AM: Message edited by: dyinghere ]</small>
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Call her parents and let them know she is breaking up a family.
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<small>[ December 22, 2004, 08:50 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>
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What is your PLAN? Thinking about that will help you get focused again. Remember the focus needs to be on you, not on him. You can't talk him out of this A. It will go on until it dies.
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<small>[ December 31, 2004, 04:15 AM: Message edited by: dyinghere ]</small>
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GREAT PLAN:
Stick to this.
You said:
"Try and find out the ENs she is fullfiling. Dont know how. ASk him?"
OK. You're kidding. He has a FOGGY BRAIN! YOU CAN'T ASK HIM ANYTHING AND EXPECT TO GET A REASONABLE OR HONEST RESPONSE!! This is important! Remember this!
Study up about ENs on this website or in the HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS Book. You can figure this out on your own if you know your WH. You will also learn by taking an honest look at yourself. WHAT EMOTIONAL NEEDS WERE YOU NOT MEETING? What made the climate easy for the OW to step in?
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