Hi...

Not my first time at this dance so I'm familiar with the concepts and have re-read much recently. I'm reasonably confident of my wife's affair (suspected: emotional since early Summer, recently sexual, partner lives in Alaska and we're in Ohio). I've gathered evidence---phone records, browsing history, an email or two---and taken notes working backwards. I don't have proof proof ... I mentioned in another thread there's no fire but there sure is a helluva lot of smoke!

I'm feeling stuck because I'm not sure how much evidence is necessary to expose. The plan's not set, but it's coming together and I wonder if I need proof proof, as it were.

Hello Ugh, welcome back. Have you been here before? If so, what was your screen name? Has she had an affair before? If so, what are the details?

Are you married?

Is the OM married?

@MelodyLane: Yes, I've been here before. I remember your handle. Don't remember my screen name then; thus, the new one. Yes, she's had an affair before.

Details then:
Lost my job in June 2001 when the tech bubble burst. Then 9/11 happened and no one was hiring. I eventually spiraled into depression, which manifest itself as it does for men. In Spring of 2002, my wife started an affair with a co-worker. That OM, who was living with a longtime girlfriend at the time, broke things off with her sometime in late October or early November. She was devastated. I'd only had suspicions to that point. Cell phones weren't as common. Spy gear was terrible and ridiculously expensive. My proof came when she told me about the affair after the breakup. I started Plan A. We eventually separated for six months---she moved out---during which I Plan A'd like a mofo. Helped her move. Hung pictures on the wall. Bought her a bed, new flannel sheets, a microwave. Meantime, her workplace became a viper pit (unrelated to the affair; it was just a terrible place) and she found a new job. We eventually reconciled. Talked a lot. Experienced other hardships and joys. Started a family. Moved from Denver to be closer to our families. Not sure what other details you need. Fifteen years makes for a lot of details :-). We're still married.

@BrainHurts: No. Current OM's FB says he's in a civil union, but I find no evidence that that's the case.