My grandfather is dying today. I barely know him. I can count on my fingers the number of times I have seen him. I am flying to his death bed out of love for my mother but with no great affection for him. I don't wish him ill; I just don't care that much. Likewise, None of his other grand children could be bothered to cancel plans to be at his side. They feel the same way as I.
He abandoned his family to marry his mistress, who was also married. He raised her children, paid no support and left my grandmother destitute. I have never spent a major holiday with him. In 40 years, he has given my mother $40 to pay a speeding ticket. ( Mom was 16 when he left.) While they are the rarity, he and his adultery-wife are no happily ever after. They hate each other, live 2000 miles apart for the last 10 years and would divorce had They not married in the Catholic Church.
He is the antithesis of my paternal grandfather, who was happy and in love with my grandma for 55 years and broken when she died. I spent every weekend with my dad's parents, so many memories of sleep-overs, driving the tractor with Pepaw, baking pies with Memaw, Christmas morning at their house, all 30 cousins playing in the back yard. I was devastated when my paternal grandfather died. I wish I felt more now. I regret his affair because it robbed those experiences and relationship with my mother's father.
If you are in an Affair, consider my grandfather. You could be he. Alone and barely loved in his last days. If your spouse is willing to reconcile, do it and run from your sin. It is a death like you have never known.
