I wish MB had a like button, I would like this post! So on point for so many situations.

You all are awesome and amazing and I love you and I love this place. I know I�m not doing things at the pace that makes the most sense to you but I have found my path out and I have no fear of slipping back, it is all uphill from here.

I spent yesterday at the March for Our Lives in Parkland and those kids I marched with had so much momentum I was so blessed. My father was murdered for his postal key delivering mail in 2010 so the constant gun violence down here has been a constant drag on me so to get a ray of hope was unexpected. Everything in its own time.

H told DSS and emailed his xw about the move date and child sharing accommodations he wanted as a result so I don�t believe he would turn back now. We got all the stuff packed today, days ahead of schedule.

I�m so grateful I found this place, had I not I may have still been mired where I was when I got here.

I'm sorry about your dad Ned.

Fingers crossed on the move out. I know you'd prefer it that way.

Did he leave? Are you paying his first month�s rent?

Today was a total disaster but he�s out. In retrospect with an AO man like him I should have changed the locks and moved his stuff when he was out of town and taken my consequences in court later. He expected to help him with loading and unloading the car here and at his mother�s. I told him I had to be at my brother�s for Easter at 2. Another brother called and said he and my mom needed a ride there and I asked H under the circumstances how about I go take my mom and help him when I get back. He blew up so bad I had to run out of there. He texted me once he was out. I had him leave the key but I�m changing the locks tomorrow.

He�s at his mom�s this month and has a lease for next month. I haven�t paid the first month yet but I had aggreed to that to get him out. I filed the petition for divorce and the website said we should get a date to finalize in 4 weeks. I am so grateful I got out instead of giving it more time.

I am so glad you didn't wait any longer. Do you have to pay his first month?

I do not have to pay. I had agreed to but it is not in writing.

Thanks for the happy faces. I am relieved he�s gone but I�m still shaken from this AO. Like a crazy glimpse of the life I would have had if I never found these concepts and taken them to heart.

I hope you change your mind on that and use the money for a better cause, namely you and your daughter! You would certainly be justified in not paying it given the disgraceful way he treated you today...

Very happy and proud of you!!

Thanks you are 100% I am justified in not paying it now.

Sorry that you had to experience his AO (again), but glad he is out!

Yes me too thanks. It's all forward from here.

There's no good way to get someone like this out!

Congratulations! I think you and your daughter deserve all the pizza.

I'm so glad he is out. And I think with that last AO, he lost the benefit of you paying for him. Stay strong!!

Awesome update (except for his stupid AO)!

Hopefully things will quickly begin to improve with and for your daughter!

Good morning, NED! How are you doing? How is your daughter?

Thanks for checking in on us, we're both doing really well. I was very close with DSS, and thought how could I still see him without having to contact stbxh, so I contacted DSS's mom at her work and she called me back the same day. I *really* should have contacted her before we got married. He got mad when I suggested it, but like it says in Buyers Renters Freeloaders you should not avoid conflict while dating, because that is how you know how you will handle conflict together after marriage. So he got intimidating and I backed off. That was my red flag right there, that neither one of us had what it took then to be real buyers together.

So she said of course we can still get the kids together, that DSS had told her how much fun he had with my niece, she even knew her name lol. And she said that it was the same with stbxh when they were together. That after the wedding he never once saw her family again, nor went to church again. That would have been really good to know. Also she said that DSS told her about stbxh's AOs at me, more reason we needed to separate. I was hoping he wouldn't remember it.

I feel more every day that I really dodged a bullet. I'm grateful DD came to me about her concerns about not wanting to come to my house anymore, knowing I would take her seriously. So many kids just act out in anger or blame themselves. I'm still listening to the radio program to get my daily dose of perspective, so I feel more and more confident I will not lower my standards and take him back.

I completely adore that you and his ex are bonding over this and making playdates!

What was his version of the story?

I feel so proud that you did this for your daughter and yourself. It means a lot to her, no doubt, that you took quick, decisive action and didn't wait.

I hope you continue to use the forum as a resource because I think the posters here could be invaluable in helping you weed out the bad apples in the future. Sometimes it is hard to see red glaring warning signs when you are emotionally involved. That is one of the great benefits of the forum.