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#3003392 03/30/18 12:20 AM
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Hi there,

I am going thru a divorce right now and had been served couple days ago. I have been coached by Dr. Harley by myself and as before we did it together, now my husband no longer participates.

Would like an input on, is an emotional affair considered as an ex-lover? What would be an ex lover definition or mean to you?

I am new to this I hope the settings is will be posted or readable.

Thank you for your time on this matter.

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Originally Posted by Hawaii1234
Hi there,

I am going thru a divorce right now and had been served couple days ago. I have been coached by Dr. Harley by myself and as before we did it together, now my husband no longer participates.

Would like an input on, is an emotional affair considered as an ex-lover? What would be an ex lover definition or mean to you?

I am new to this I hope the settings is will be posted or readable.

Thank you for your time on this matter.

Hawaii, please see the following article by Steven Harley "What is an affair?"

http://marriagebuilders.com//graphic/mbi8501_fft.html



BH (me) 50, WxW 47
Married 1994
D-day, plan A, & exposure Jan 2017
Divorced Nov 2017
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Thank you I will read it, again.

For the word used �Ex-Lover� for an emotional affair something that would be correct or incorrect discribe what that person would be?

What would be considered to be an Ex-Lover?

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Originally Posted by Hawaii1234
Thank you I will read it, again.

For the word used �Ex-Lover� for an emotional affair something that would be correct or incorrect discribe what that person would be?

What would be considered to be an Ex-Lover?

It is referring to a past romantic relationship.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by Hawaii1234
Hi there,

I am going thru a divorce right now and had been served couple days ago. I have been coached by Dr. Harley by myself and as before we did it together, now my husband no longer participates.

Would like an input on, is an emotional affair considered as an ex-lover? What would be an ex lover definition or mean to you?

I am new to this I hope the settings is will be posted or readable.

Thank you for your time on this matter.

Can you explain the situation so we understand the context?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Hi there,

Ok. I had met with the Bishop and the parents of my husband to open the lines of communication and had a rough start, but reconcile, then brought up of the reason of myself having difficulties to attend the church because of his ex-lover attends here.
When my husband asked to seek my perspective when I come home.
He said his dad had asked what were you talking about ex lover? Husband looked up lover and it did not mean what he felt what he felt. He doesn�t want me to use or suggest not to use ex lover. I said ok. I�ll consider.

Also he doesn�t think the emotional affair he had, was an emotional affair. He was helping a women with her problems, wanted to cheer her up, be there for her as a big brother, wanted to spend time with her at the movies.
After I had found that message on Facebook I pointed it out and wanted to tell his parents, I really disapprove of that.
Another instance of emotional affair which I didn�t have proof, this time we are aware of marriage builders also. He wouldn�t share his phone, had gotten angry, defensive when brought up I don�t like private conversations. That had been 9 months ago and till this day he does not want me saying he had multiple emotional affairs.

Hope this clear it up.

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Have you put spyware on his phone?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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No. Not sure how to do that. Also he won�t show me his phone again or share his passcode. Currently had been served divorce so at this point spying on him will not be accepting, I think...
What do you think of using the word ex lover?

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Originally Posted by Hawaii1234
No. Not sure how to do that. Also he won�t show me his phone again or share his passcode. Currently had been served divorce so at this point spying on him will not be accepting, I think...
What do you think of using the word ex lover?
We have called them ex lover, but we usually use the terminology other woman (OW). But if you don�t have the proof he is going to keep denying the affair.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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*EDIT**

Last edited by Denali; 04/01/18 10:13 AM. Reason: TOS non MB advice

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