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Not Ready Yet?
#30034 11/12/99 02:51 PM
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 120
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NewDay Offline OP
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NewDay
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 120
I found out about my husband's long-term affair a little over a month ago. It has been very difficult but I have forgiven him and am dedicated to rebuilding our marriage. My husband is very remorseful and depressed. He feels he has been such a fool and is having a hard time living with himself. I am ready to look at our emotional needs and begin to rebuild our marriage. He says he is not ready yet for he is still trying to figure out how and why he did what he did. I am worried because he is depressed and cries and cannot open up much. I know we can't move forward until he has healed. But what can I do until that time? I can continue to support and encourage him but what about me? When do I get support and encouragement? Anyone else go through this stage?
Re: Not Ready Yet?
#30035 11/12/99 03:00 PM
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 1,050
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Janie Offline
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Janie
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NewDay -- I have faced the same issues over the last year. After I left him in August, he realized that he wasn't any happier with me gone. In fact, he admitted the overwhelming sadness was even greater. At long last he has admitted he needs counseling and perhaps some meds. He has made the statement he's on a raft in the middle of the ocean, is numb, doesn't sleep, etc. In hindsight, I see signs of the depression as far back as three years. Midlife, empty nest, financial strain in building a monster house took its toll. Thus an affair. <P>Try to get him in counseling asap. He sounds depressed and that keeps them in a state of confusion. Hang on and love him. That's all you can do.

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