So... I never thought I would be facing this place again.

My first wife was unfaithful and had no intention of saving the marriage... so that happened. I remarried, a little over 10 years ago. She was different. A person of integrity.

The depression I had had since I was sick as a teenager had flared up when my first wife left me. I got treatment, and thought I was better.

When I remarried, I was starting a new career, and struggled to provide the basics. As we approached 10 years, I finally got a more stable income in my new career. I had to work away from my family (almost 1000 miles) about 6 months with almost no ability to see them, until I was able to get a home and move them out to be with me. Getting the home however was so difficult, the stress and fear that I had no idea if I would be able to provide a place for my family sent me into a horrible depressive episode.

Long story short, my wife was so rattled by my depression, that she was hesitant to join me, and I was so scared by what I percieved as her unwillingness to commit to our new life and home, that I stayed depressed. Functional, but withdrawn and sad.

After 9 months in our new home, she kicked me out. Barely able to afford the house for her and the kids, and having been working constantly, I had no one to call on, and lived in my car for a week before i finally told my parents and they put me up in a hotel, temporarily. That's where I am now.

It's so hard to have hope. And feels so unjust that my family and home are taken from me because of my depression. I'm seeking counseling, but there's a wait. She won't consider marriage counseling at this time. I don't know what to do.

Hi WalkingByFaith, do you have children with this lady? And you say she "kicked" you out, but she cannot do that unless she has a court order. Did she get a court order?

Yes, we have a daughter together. She's 9.

She kicked me out in the sense of demanding that I leave, with the threat that if i didn't she would, and take my daughter with her. Yes, I could fight it in court, but the result would be even more animosity. I didn't want to make her hate me any more than she did.

Maybe that was stupid. The thought of being somewhere that I explicitly was unwanted was too much. Maybe that was the depression.

Are you on anti-depressants? Are you treating your depression? I would start there and I would most definitely move back home. You can't fix a marriage if you aren't there. I will also warn you that many judges view what you did as abandonment and can hold it against you in a divorce action. Your wife cannot force you to leave your own home without cause.

Thank you. I understand the legal ramifications. I'm not inclined to argue it, but I'm not at all worried in that regard. The essence of the situation is that if I didn't bow to her demand there is a strong probability she would have taken the kids and left. She has friends where we used to live, nearly a thousand miles away. Then the only option I would have would be through the courts. I deemed it preferable to keep her and the children close. I probably should have negotiated something, and I probably would have but for the overwhelming feeling of rejection coupled with my depression.

As for treatment, I've started seeing a counselor. I'm not on medication for my depression, but if deemed appropriate I will take what is prescribed.

I would strongly suggest you get on medication to get your depression under control. You also need to move home. Fear of her anger is not a sensible reason to leave your home. You need to overcome your fear if you want to have any hope of saving your marriage. You need to go home.