There is hope. To anybody who has stumbled across this feeling hopeless, let me tell that there is hope. Mine may not have ended the way I wanted it to, but I assure you that you are in the right place and there is hope. It'll take work and it'll take you doing things that will make you feel uncomfortable at times, but there is hope.


As for anybody else update:
Since my last post I kept on going forward with life. The Sunday before Easter Sunday she had to work, I saw text messages between her and OM that day and I honestly just gave up. That week I brought boxes home to start packing up some of my stuff I knew she wouldn't want. She was to have surgery the Friday before Easter, I promised I would take care of her. I was my pleasant helpful gently nice person all weekend. Lo and behold she all of the sudden decided that maybe we could work it out, one problem though...she forgot to inform me of that. Until a week or so later when I overhear a conversation she is having with someone on the phone and she tells them she thinks we can try to work it out. Rather than jumping at that chance, I felt she needed to tell me that and not everybody but me. We had a few "good" weeks after, but neither of us really moved forward with "working it out" we were waiting on the other to make the first move. She discovered the spy app...felt it violated what trust she had in me and that it was a violation of privacy to the other people she was communicating with and disrespectful towards them. So for the most part we have been in "limbo" since easter weekend. We talked this past weekend and she wants to move forward with the divorce and selling of the house as fast as possible, we are really getting items seperated and out of the house to sell. Yes we are still married and living together at the moment. She has said that she forgives me but still can't get over the hurt I have caused. She compares her mindset to that of PTSD. Example: I recently got a new phone not a phone expert so didn't have it all set up properly, I had to work late one evening she tried to call I didn't answer because my phone didn't vibrate on silent. She said that just insanely sent her into anxiety mode and that she can't live like that anymore. She can't trust and since she can't trust she can't provide to my needs which in her words "aren't fair to me"

So for now its all hands on deck to get the house in shape to sell and we will part ways.

However to anybody reading this and feeling hopeless please don't give up, not yet anyways. Read through these forums practice what they preach give it an honest attempt, if it works out for you job well done and here is hoping for a stronger marriage than what you had before you came here. To those who it doesn't work out, still practice what they preach, walk away knowing that 1. you gave it your all to try and 2. you're walking away a better version of yourself.

Sorry for the long post