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Joined: Apr 2019
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I know you have great resources for spying on your spouse (mine has to be caught in his many lies before he will confess) and I need to know the best route to take to find any hidden dating apps or other secret social media accounts. I tried and paid for "been verified" but it was useless. Is spokeo a reliable source? I don't want to keep spending my limited resources on useless websites. Are there any free web search sites? Or is there one worth the money they charge?
Thank you so much.

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Put spyware on his computer or phone. Just test it first on your own to make sure it is not detected. Anything he knows about will be useless. Good spyware will email you screen shots. From that you will be able to see what he is accessing, passwords too.

Tell us what he is using to access the web and you will be able to get more detailed help.


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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I’m sorry for the slow response, I’m not finding it easy to navigate through the forum. My spouse is in IT management, so he would detect any software on his devices. He can load apps I’ve never heard of to get on the web. He’s loaded and deleted before, but everybody makes mistakes or underestimates their spouse and God reveals things. Hence I’ve finally found proof of years of suspicions. I just want to do a web search and find what sites he’s a member of. Maybe do a background check? I just don’t know what site is legit. Thanks for your help.

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Without spyware, you cannot see what he visits. You say 'apps' which makes me think he is using his phone? Have you thought of just browsing through those while he is asleep to see what they are?

If he keeps his phone locked down, you will have to think outside the box. Do you have access to phone records? They get careless if they do not think you are on to them. Also a GPS in the car and a voice activated recorder where he might have private conversations. Neither have to be left in place for long, a few days should be enough.

Not sure what you think a background check would give you. If you have a name, Google and social media will turn up the goods pretty fast. I found a 90 year old stone deaf cousin in another country (she had inherited something we wanted to send her) via social media. I had only her daughter's name, a town and the fact that she was interested in dogs. Took me 3 hours total.

If it is your husband you want to check on, you can definitely see if there are any photos of him on line by Googling his name. People have discovered other 'wives' that way! But come back here to get advice before confronting him if you find anything.


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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Ok, thank you. We are currently separated, so I don't have access to his phone. He uses his phone and iPads. He has been arrested before-I bailed him out, and I wondered if there were any other times. I wondered if other marriages would show up in official records online. I know police can find things using social security numbers that other people can't see. I just wondered if there was something a private individual could use/pay for. I wonder about other checking/savings accounts that he could be hiding from me. Those would only show up with a social security number. Sad you have to investigate someone you've spent almost 3 decades with.

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Originally Posted by #surviving
Ok, thank you. We are currently separated, so I don't have access to his phone.

Can you see the phone records?

Originally Posted by #surviving
He has been arrested before-I bailed him out, and I wondered if there were any other times.
I wondered if other marriages would show up in official records online. I know police can find things using social security numbers that other people can't see. I just wondered if there was something a private individual could use/pay for. I wonder about other checking/savings accounts that he could be hiding from me. Those would only show up with a social security number. Sad you have to investigate someone you've spent almost 3 decades with.


Yes, this stuff is always sad. But you need to be strategic. First work out what your goal is and then start searching. If, for example, you want to know whether your husband has been arrested, you can Google his name wrapped in quotation marks like this "xyz wayward" and that will pick up newspaper reports. No sense in paying someone to do that for you.

You will not find bank accounts, those are not public records. However, if you file for divorce, he will be obliged to disclose all his assets.


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)

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