So, I don't know exactly what brought me here tonight. Years ago I was a fairly active member. I guess I just wanted to check in and say a few words of encouragement.

I have been where so many of you are now. Cheated on, riding the roller coaster, hurting like I would rather die than go on!

I caught my wife cheating the first time in 2000. We went through all the ups and downs of trying figure out what we wanted. My wife refused to work on anything at the time. She was having the time of her life. She didn't want to get a divorce, didn't want to lose me. She was a cake eater to the max. While she was in the throes of her affair, I found this site and lived here day and night. I worked on myself and tried to become the best "me" that I could become.

Eventually her OP left her and she decided to give our marriage another chance. We(or I should say I was)were actually happy for a few years.

Long story short. In the end wife started a new job. Met other females who liked to party and play around with guys, and started having another affair. This is roughly 10 years from the original affair. Me? Well I was stuck back on the dreaded roller coaster! Her affairs lasted aprox. a year. Yes, multiples. After a few months of going through the same emotions, frustrations, and heartache as before, I told her I was filing for divorce. She said nothing when I told her. I filed, she was served papers. The day she was served, she came to me begging not to divorce her. She just wanted me to allow her more time to have her affairs and get it out of her system, Lol.

What she didn't know, and I never told her, was that one day I simply woke up and every feeling for her was gone! Like God flipped a light switch within me and took away all the feelings I had for my cheating wife. (The day she begged me not to divorce her, I actually laughed and simply said, "face it, you are divorced").

I am now divorced for about 8.5 years. I met a wonderful woman and we have been together for 6 years. We get along great.

I just wanted to say to those going through this he**. Hang in there. Follow the information on this site. Work on you every day. In the end, no matter what happens, you are going to be just fine. Let God work on you. Don't rush things. Seek out people who strengthen you. And, whether it is your wife/husband, or in the end someone else. You will love again and be happy! I might add, before I found my new lady, I was perfectly happy being single. I actually wasn't looking for, or to be in, a relationship. It found me, lol.

Wishing the best for all of you. Prayers.
JD

Hi Jdmac! Good to see you. We signed up around the same time and I remember you. Sorry to hear about your divorce, but sometimes the definition of success is divorce. It sounds like that is the case with you. I am still married to same man and we have a great marriage today. We went through the Marriage Builders seminar in 2007 and it was very successful. Thanks for checking in!

Jdmac, my story similar to yours...ended up divorcing. It was a rough journey.

It was 10 years ago this month that I served her papers. Wow, time files.

I too met a wonderful woman, and have been married now for 2 years (actually today is anniversary).

Sometimes Plan-D is the correct choice.

Take care, LG