Thank you all for reading and thank you in advance find any suggestions I looked through farms and couldn't find find a match to my problem maybe I didn't look well enough maybe nothing really quite fit what I have a man facing with is a unique situation I believe and if I'm wrong please like me towards an article. Our discussion died with cover what I am describing hereI am using a cell phone and I am speaking to the phone as time is difficult to find the door the proper way so please if you see some errors it's because of that
I am 43 years old my wife of 14 years is 32 we have been married for a little bit over 13 years and know each other for about 15 and know of one another entire life.
Our marriage is very strong I don't think any 1 or anything can break it
I had been with for women before my marriage my wife on the other hand was a virgin when we met we have two wonderful children 11 and 4
As long as I can remember my wife taught of me a center of the universe the only man that can love her the only man that can make you feel great in bed anything and everything was me but that alone she held herself back knowing what else lies in life I never thought of myself as the person she saw me to be
She had none or very little confidence in herself her beauty her abilities everything always most of the time with a :-( as we had no help from neither side her family was overseas and mine just didn't want to help so it wasn't easy are we always made it work
For those reasons I always thought that her having experienced another men would have been an eye opener to build her confidence get her out of sadness and become a stronger person for years I have been trying and she always dismissed the idea that a relentlessly I never gave up and kept going and going with every few months a new twist on idea of how to make that work I always told her how beautiful smart sexy she was but knowing from my own experience having heard compliments from my very first person I didn't quite Believe it or it never sank in until another person told me the same or the third
So this summer towards the end of May a young man only 24 years old from across the country 2000 miles away was doing a job in our area for two months it was supposed to be selling books out of all four children almost immediately I noticed him something different he stood out of the crowd spoke differently with different wasn't raised in our part of the country which made him very unique
So we started talking we all became very quickly comfortable with each other my children like them he was a great basketball player my wife was attracted almost instantly to him and I couldn't say a single bad thing about the man I truly think he's a very good young person I quickly found out he was single what he was doing so on and on I had hard time with some of the information because his personality is mirror match of my wife's and I am quite the opposite but I made it work
a week or two weeks into knowing him I approached him and asked him if he was attracted to my wife what she replied yes and if you'd be interested in some other well the other or something really meant in my mind maybe go out maybe kiss maybe have sex so she understands how things are and how can they be so she would become again more confident in herself
This cook. Perfect plan that was cooking in my head for 14 years didn't quite play out as I expected not even close for about a month-and-a-half he was very reluctant to the idea almost run away and never came back outside thing inside of him even though his friends advised him not to made him keep coming back but kept giving him a dinner talking to him trying to be there for a while working he had a very
hard schedule 7 days a week almost 90 hours
It was difficult for every time they got closer she was happy you would back off and back and forward eventually I told her to ride a harder questions and what's going on are you interested or not and he kind of came back with a message saying yes but what do you want you want something physical or do you want a baby for me and Ouija I must be honest we did discuss that idea and and the time it sounded very erratic and hot and so she replied I want the baby
That very quickly change tanks us he came over two days later I to the kids worry give them the room for 4 hours and she had her IUD removed the same day and they had sex and he came inside of her she did not become pregnant because they after that her. Came back and she had a strong a day long.period
You made a plan for the end of September for her to fly out there for 3 days when she's the most versatile she bought the test she wants to have a child he wants to have her child it's really starting to sound and look like a poly relationship but we don't quite know his intentions he's finishing college in just a few months he doesn't really talk super much she's going to get a lot of answers she's asking me if I will raise the child of my own if he chooses not to be part of it I don't know what to do I love her more than life itself and I'll do anything and everything for her and I'm pretty sure I'll be okay with the child
if you ask yourself why is it that she just doesn't have one with me is because of our history and a child between me and her on this stage would be very very high risk we just can't think that's a chance
we have no idea what his intentions are afterwards I told them it's totally up to him if he chooses to be part of it not part of it whatever it is she's hoping to have a poly relationship where we are all happy together but understands that he might just disappear after he deposits his semen in her
please Don't judge me don't say I'm crazy I thought about going to a psychiatrist but I feel that they wouldn't be prepared or equipped or non-passive on judgment because of a very unique situation
I only thing that kept coming up at some point or another was jealousy and my part which I thought I was pretty damn good I'm controlling but I found out just how wrong I was I've been working on a 12 or 2 weeks now and I think I got a pretty good grasp on it I watched quite a few educational videos on the subject and the trigger points and how to handle it passed etc and it's a lot better
I did also tell her the only case scenario where I would leave her would be if I so her extremely happy and much better off than she is with me with him because they are not really hot more compatible and he or she chose not to have me in their relationship then I would walk away I did tell him that I'm glad we met him that if I was to die today I know that my children will be in good hands with him and her because
So there's a lot more I'm sure I'm missing gaps and I I will be happy to fill them all in if you are still kind kind enough to ask me to specific questions that I might not even know that exist and feeling horny and all gaps to all that will help thank you in advance and again I apologize for any grammar spelling or out of whack sentences

Welcome to MB.

Could you please explain in one or two sentences what you want help with. I read through your post but I cannot find a question or a specific plea for help.

How did it turn into love . desire to have another man child .poly option how do I proceed.will I love this child as my own.
Will she ever be the woman I knew and fell in love with .I have the power to change it as it's not done 3 more weeks she says she won't go if it hurts me or she will go but take a morning after pill if I can't accept it. At same time my years with her were always about how I can make her happier at any cost .I can tolerate pain well don't mind crying. For all things I can do I have my own flaw's ..I just want her to be as happy as she can be .yet self preservation kicks in and jelouse and fear of massive change I wanted her to know and experience and now I realize changes will be even greater depending on the outcome.

Have you read any of Dr Harley's materials on this website? His analysis shows that people fall in love when the other person successfully meets their emotional needs. He has a list of the common emotional needs desired by women, and those desired by men.

For your wife, you offered her the chance to become intimate with another man. He successfully met her most important emotional needs and now she is in love with him. It isn't rocket science. You, on the other hand, crashed your marriage by pimping your wife out to someone else. This showed an enormous lack of love and care, and made her fall out of love with you.

Many people entered so-called open or polyamorous arrangements within their marriage, only to find out that the vows to keep oneself only for one's spouse are there for a reason. A marriage cannot survive and thrive with another person receiving love, affection and sexual fulfilment. Have you never heard this? Have you been living in a cave? Did you not realise that marriage is meant to be exclusive, and that marriages break up constantly because of infidelity?

You might be willing to put up with a polygamous arrangement, but as you can see, your marriage is already in crisis. If he stays in the picture your marriage is finished.

She wants to go and have sex with this man, in the hope of conceiving his child, and then go back to you? And you are giving her permission for this, and planning to bring up the child?

Do you, and does your wife, feel any sense of responsibility to the children you already have? Do you honestly think that this is a responsible way for parents to treat their children?

For their sakes, if you plan to go ahead with your reckless scheme, contact the authorities and ask for your children to be taken into care. They do not deserve to have parents like you.

Good grief.

Thank you .

Just to state the positions of people here:

You will not find support for polygamy or any other kind of adultery on this website and forum. It is a site designed to help people create and maintain romantic, fulfilling, monogamous marriage. Many of the people who come here do so because their marriages were destroyed by adultery. We are under no illusion that open marriage can ever be the answer to anything.

As adults, you and your wife can support any lifestyle you want. You can ignore our views that you pimped your wife out as if she were a prostitute.

However, when we have children there is an implicit assumption that we will do our best for them; that we will lay down our lives, if necessary, to given them the best chances possible. You and your wife don't seem to have understood that, or seem to have forgotten it along the way. For your children's sakes, do the best for them by either ending this appalling lifestyle or giving them to people who will love them as parents should.