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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 2
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2019
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Last year, I was reading through one of Dr. Harley's books, and I remember a comment that he sometimes sees an emotional need for High Motivation or something like that. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I've tried to go back and find the reference, but I can find it in either "His/Her Needs" or "Fall/Stay in Love." If anyone know where this reference was, will you please help me find it? Also, if you've had experience working with this type of emotional need, any thoughts would be appreciated. I believe I have the need, and I want to be able to convey realistic ways that my wife can meet it.
Thanks!
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Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 790 Likes: 4
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Could it be ambition? Mostly women are attracted to ambitious men. Ambition is more of a character trait than something that can be trained. Meeting all emotional needs described in MB materials can be improved by training.
There are more than 10 emotional needs, the 10 most common important emotional needs are described in MB. If ambition (or another untrainable trait) is an emotional need, lack thereof can be compensated by meeting the top 3 of trainable needs.
If this isn't it, you can write the radio show.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Also, if you've had experience working with this type of emotional need, any thoughts would be appreciated. I believe I have the need, and I want to be able to convey realistic ways that my wife can meet it.! Why not just define what you need here?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Sep 2019
Posts: 2
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2019
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It was ambition. Thanks!
I think you’re right that addressing top 3 needs from defined list would compensate. But she has no desire or ambition to improve at anything in life. She’s read the books also and basically said she is the way she is. She doesn’t think she could ever meet my emotional needs and isn’t going to try.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
It was ambition. Thanks!
I think you’re right that addressing top 3 needs from defined list would compensate. But she has no desire or ambition to improve at anything in life. She’s read the books also and basically said she is the way she is. She doesn’t think she could ever meet my emotional needs and isn’t going to try. What are your top emotional needs and what has she said about meeting them? I don't think the problem is ambition but that she has no interest in meeting your needs. That means she has a freeloaders approach to marriage. Or it could mean that you are asking her to meet your needs in a way she finds unpleasant. [a big no no]
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 567
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Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 567 |
Last year, I was reading through one of Dr. Harley's books, and I remember a comment that he sometimes sees an emotional need for High Motivation or something like that. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I've tried to go back and find the reference, but I can find it in either "His/Her Needs" or "Fall/Stay in Love." If anyone know where this reference was, will you please help me find it? Also, if you've had experience working with this type of emotional need, any thoughts would be appreciated. I believe I have the need, and I want to be able to convey realistic ways that my wife can meet it.
Thanks! I'm listening to the audio CD version of Dr. Harley's "I Promise You", where he talks about the emotional need of "High Ambition". He mentioned that it was rare enough to not make the top 10 emotional needs list.
Married 1994, divorced 2017
Remarried 2025
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