Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 2 1 2
Bogey #3010102 10/07/19 11:20 AM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
Originally Posted by Bogey
There is a point of being blunt.....and there is a point of just being plain mean and hateful. And you are riding a very thin line.

I came here for a little support because I am at the end of my rope and you have not given me anything. So why are you even commenting?? Just to be hateful?

Being very blunt and straight forward under these circumstances (a betrayed spouse trying to attempt recovery with a serial cheater) is the nicest thing anyone could do for you.

You are shooting at the helicopters. MelodyLane is someone you NEED to help you navigate this.

A serial cheater who is NOT SERIOUS will hurt you again - it is just a matter of time. You need to have your eyes wide open and read everything you can on this site about serial cheats.


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Bogey #3010105 10/07/19 11:33 AM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
Originally Posted by Bogey
I believe that he was in a mid life crisis because of his heart attack. He felt like something tragic was going to happen... like he was going to die and that feeling tipped him over the edge. He had a 98% block in the widow maker's artery. He had a heart attack a year into cheating.

I am very alarmed to read this - this is NOT why your WH is a serial cheater. If that was the case, don't you think there would be some type of correlation between people who have suffered life-threatening illnesses, only to recover and then become serial cheaters? I have never heard Dr Harley say such a thing and he has been working with/studying marriages recovering from affairs for decades.

The reason that your WH is a serial cheater is because he has become addicted to getting some of his ENs met outside of marriage and some met in the marriage. Why? Because it feels good. It's as simple as that.

Quote
Yes...he is considered a serial cheater. I have talked to his ex wife and he never cheated. No unaccountable times with him and she was in charge of the finances. No missing money.
Serial cheaters are not serial cheaters right at the start of the marriage. That is not a test for whether someone is a "real" serial cheater or not. My exWH was faithful for at least 10+ years of our M. Once he got a taste for having something on the side, he was not able to give it up. If he got caught in an affair or doing something inappropriate, it was easy to get him to give it up. It is irrelevant that he was faithful in the beginning of your M.

Quote
As I have said in earlier posts....he has no social media of any kind. I have access to all of his finances. I have all passwords. I go thru his Google often. His Google location is always on. I have spyware on his phone...I see every text, location, photo and internet usage. He asks before leaving the house other than to work. We have cameras inside and outside of the house.
This is a good start. I just want to point out that my ex-WH promised me everything under the sun. We counseled with the Harleys and we had a very extensive EP list and he still cheated again. Dr Harley has often said this type of cheater should probably work with their BS and shouldn't even use the internet without the BS right there with them.


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Page 2 of 2 1 2

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 302 guests, and 34 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mxwwa, Foolocracy, Gastelumattorney, Demonolatry, Jose E. Martin
71,897 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Separation
by Foolocracy - 11/24/24 09:45 PM
Wife's Family is Attractive, Should I Cut Them Out
by Soundmind9090 - 11/24/24 06:07 PM
Unsure how to recover together
by Soundmind9090 - 11/24/24 06:07 PM
How bad was it?
by Soundmind9090 - 11/24/24 06:06 PM
Recovering 12 Years later
by Soundmind9090 - 11/24/24 06:05 PM
Religion vs other Methods in Marriage Recovery
by Soundmind9090 - 11/24/24 06:04 PM
My own story
by Soundmind9090 - 11/24/24 06:04 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,620
Posts2,323,481
Members71,898
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5