I am unequally yoked in a marriage. I became a Christian during the marriage. The problem is I have had prior suspicions of my husband having inappropriate texts with other women. Flirtatious in nature. I did confront, but he did not take responsibility for his actions. He laughed off the texts. Fast forward a year and one half.... I have had conversations with four individuals who have filled me in on his past actions on his prior marriages (unfaithfulness multiple times and abuse both physical and emotional). Three have stated they have heard he has been unfaithful to me a few years ago. Due to him not owning up to the message I came across prior, I am now considering a separation. I don't have reason to believe the individuals would be making up his unfaithfulness, but I am contemplating if separation is the best action to take. It's hard to make a decision based on others words. Also, I have a feeling when I leave he will end the marriage. It will make things difficult for me but not impossible to be on my own. I do have fears that I am trying to not let get in the way, but to trust in God instead to work out the details. I would love advice on how you might handle this situation. Separation, divorce or stay in situation because infidelity happened years ago. I am worried though this is a pattern in his behavior.

I don't know if I can give you advice, but just know I am in the same situation you are in. I am born-again and like you are having issues with my husband and other women. I feel like he lies to my face when I ask about it. He too committed adultery, I forgave him, trying to be the best Christian. But have learned that it was only me trying to make the difference in our marriage. It takes two, but that's not what have been received. Through God's guidance, I am coming to terms with a near term divorce. I have tried, asked, prayed, and put it all in God's hands. As I am writing this note, I feel a little lighter knowing me holding on to something that isn't God's plan isn't His plan. I want the best for my spouse, but God's happiness for me is just as important. If there are others that have gone through what we are going through, please share.

The above statement has given me some hope too. God knows our heart and that we have tried to make the marriage what is intended to be. Good point that sometimes we hold on when God is really leading us in a new direction. I hope you find the clarity and discernment that I too am seeking.

I've been through it. My thoughts:

Firstly, you're getting excellent advice in the other thread, I would follow it to a T.

Quite a bit of the concepts here are based on the writings of Paul relating to marriage. If you look through basic concepts you'll see many scripture tie-ins.

What you can do is lovingly offer your spouse a roadmap to save the marriage. Forgiveness requires repentance and though your wayward spouse may act like you are being unfair to them, remember you are just asking them to observe basic rules about boundaries/honesty and agree to meet your emotional needs/vice versa. That is exactly the kind of marriage Paul instructs couples to build together.

There's a lot of (sometimes contradictory) theological advice on divorce online, and a fair amount of terrible advice about divorce in Christian books on the subject. I would advise only humility in handling the situation. It's a very tough situation for a believer and many churches don't offer much practical help for divorcees. But...I think divorce can be a tremendous learning opportunity for a betrayed spouse. You've been close to and in the thick of the danger, you understand what it looks like now (MOST couples do not!). And the concepts here can help you avoid it going forward, which is invaluable. His Needs/Her Needs to a betrayed spouse is immediately relevant because you'll recognize so much from experience.

Don't overthink it on what God does or doesn't want, sometimes its impossible for us to know. Keep an eye on the practical things and remember look at your spouse's actions more than their words. You shall know them by their fruits. God hates divorce but we don't always have the means to prevent it.