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Called and scheduled a consultation with the attorney that two of my wife's friends recommended to her. $300, pfft. You did this? Or she did this? I did this. And you're likely going to ask why. First, to hamper her ability to secure legal counsel. Second, this is a really good attorney and if we end up in divorce then I want this kind of attorney who will advocate for me keeping the home and custody of the kids. Gotcha!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Seeing that she is actively soliciting her friends for attorneys, I feel compelled to reach back out to her mom, dad, and sisters.
Reasoning - she's been in touch with her mom, dad, and one sister since exposure.
I'd like to explain that she's moving down the divorce route and reiterate that absent the affair being discovered we were not talking divorce and now we are.
Ask them, again, to encourage my wife to work on the marriage.
Damn, I'm not even persuaded by that reasoning.
Last edited by DrDetroit24; 10/18/19 11:26 AM.
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Seeing that she is actively soliciting her friends for attorneys, I feel compelled to reach back out to her mom, dad, and sisters. DrD, keep in mind that so far her "divorce" talk has been all talk and no action. That is a reflection of CONFUSION. Once again, she is just talking about it. That doesn't mean she won't file for divorce, but my point is that you should focus 100% on actions and NOT idle talk. WS's talk, talk, talk, talk and rarely act. Another point I want to make is that if she DID ever file divorce it still doesn't mean it is over. What would you be saying to her family?
Last edited by MelodyLane; 10/18/19 11:25 AM. Reason: left out word
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Seeing that she is actively soliciting her friends for attorneys, I feel compelled to reach back out to her mom, dad, and sisters. DrD, keep in mind that so far her "divorce" talk has been all talk and no action. That is a reflection of CONFUSION. Once again, she is just talking about it. That doesn't mean she won't file for divorce, but my point is that you should focus 100% on actions and NOT idle talk. WS's talk, talk, talk, talk and rarely act. Another point I want to make is that if she DID ever file divorce it still doesn't mean it is over. What would you be saying to her family? Lol, I was revising my post when you responded...see above for what I'd be saying to her family. Her friends seem intent on supporting whatever she thinks will make her happier. Her family, if they were honest with me, support repairing the marriage.
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Seeing that she is actively soliciting her friends for attorneys, I feel compelled to reach back out to her mom, dad, and sisters.
Reasoning - she's been in touch with her mom, dad, and one sister since exposure.
I'd like to explain that she's moving down the divorce route and reiterate that absent the affair being discovered we were not talking divorce and now we are.
Ask them, again, to encourage my wife to work on the marriage.
Damn, I'm not even persuaded by that reasoning. Honestly, I would skip that for now because she is not moving down the divorce path. She is just talking about it. The greatest motivator will be YOU executing a perfect Plan A. Can you say the things I told you to say tonight in a calm, respectful, loving manner? I realize it is hard to control your emotions in an emotionally charged situation.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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The fact that she is still considering divorce and IS NOT IN WITHDRAWAL is a huge red flag! Did you get that spyware on her phone?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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There is more going on behind the scene, I assure you. You don't know the whole story.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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The fact that she is still considering divorce and IS NOT IN WITHDRAWAL is a huge red flag! Did you get that spyware on her phone? No. Not yet. Was looking at several options last night. Will do so this afternoon and take the plunge this evening by installing while she's reading with our youngest at bed time.
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Seeing that she is actively soliciting her friends for attorneys, I feel compelled to reach back out to her mom, dad, and sisters.
Reasoning - she's been in touch with her mom, dad, and one sister since exposure.
I'd like to explain that she's moving down the divorce route and reiterate that absent the affair being discovered we were not talking divorce and now we are.
Ask them, again, to encourage my wife to work on the marriage.
Damn, I'm not even persuaded by that reasoning. Honestly, I would skip that for now because she is not moving down the divorce path. She is just talking about it. The greatest motivator will be YOU executing a perfect Plan A. Can you say the things I told you to say tonight in a calm, respectful, loving manner? I realize it is hard to control your emotions in an emotionally charged situation. Yes, I can and will be calm, respectful,and loving when we talk to the boys tonight. I will avoid harsh judgments. I will reiterate that I love their mom deeply; that I don't want to break apart our family and will not help Mom in any way to do so, including refusing to go to the parenting class; that their moms affair with OMWs husband hurt very deeply; that while I have harmed our marriage and family through my behaviors, I have been making and sustaining changes that include eliminating angry outbursts and being more involved and present while at home; and that moms affair with the OMWs husband was not okay because of my behaviors. I will also explain that I have told mom that I am committed to working on and improving our marriage and don't think we should abandon the marriage because of an affair with OMWs husband; that we can fix the marriage if mom is willing to. I will admit that I have had issues with angry outbursts and didn't do a good job of showing care, but those are all problems that can be fixed. However, I suspect that your mom is breaking our family apart so that she can hook up with OMWs husband in the future.
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The fact that she is still considering divorce and IS NOT IN WITHDRAWAL is a huge red flag! Did you get that spyware on her phone? No. Not yet. Was looking at several options last night. Will do so this afternoon and take the plunge this evening by installing while she's reading with our youngest at bed time. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Seeing that she is actively soliciting her friends for attorneys, I feel compelled to reach back out to her mom, dad, and sisters.
Reasoning - she's been in touch with her mom, dad, and one sister since exposure.
I'd like to explain that she's moving down the divorce route and reiterate that absent the affair being discovered we were not talking divorce and now we are.
Ask them, again, to encourage my wife to work on the marriage.
Damn, I'm not even persuaded by that reasoning. Honestly, I would skip that for now because she is not moving down the divorce path. She is just talking about it. The greatest motivator will be YOU executing a perfect Plan A. Can you say the things I told you to say tonight in a calm, respectful, loving manner? I realize it is hard to control your emotions in an emotionally charged situation. Yes, I can and will be calm, respectful,and loving when we talk to the boys tonight. I will avoid harsh judgments. I will reiterate that I love their mom deeply; that I don't want to break apart our family and will not help Mom in any way to do so, including refusing to go to the parenting class; that their moms affair with OMWs husband hurt very deeply; that while I have harmed our marriage and family through my behaviors, I have been making and sustaining changes that include eliminating angry outbursts and being more involved and present while at home; and that moms affair with the OMWs husband was not okay because of my behaviors. I will also explain that I have told mom that I am committed to working on and improving our marriage and don't think we should abandon the marriage because of an affair with OMWs husband; that we can fix the marriage if mom is willing to. I will admit that I have had issues with angry outbursts and didn't do a good job of showing care, but those are all problems that can be fixed. However, I suspect that your mom is breaking our family apart so that she can hook up with OMWs husband in the future. You got it! You covered off on every aspect. I think it is so important to be honest with kids in an age appropriate manner. [which you are doing] Kids can handle the truth, they can't handle lies and infidelity.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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] [No. Not yet. Was looking at several options last night. Will do so this afternoon and take the plunge this evening by installing while she's reading with our youngest at bed time. Be sure and get one that a) doesn't have to be rooted and b) will send you reports. Once you install it, you don't want to ever have to check her phone again.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes, I think this is the one I will go with. I think I'll be able to easily install it tonight. And the price is reasonable, too. Just have to figure out a way to pay for it without it showing up on our statement. My wife and I both keep a close eye on our accounts and so this charge will appear.
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] [No. Not yet. Was looking at several options last night. Will do so this afternoon and take the plunge this evening by installing while she's reading with our youngest at bed time. Be sure and get one that a) doesn't have to be rooted and b) will send you reports. Once you install it, you don't want to ever have to check her phone again. The one that goody shared seems to let me peer into the device remotely. But I need to confirm that it sends reports because it doesn't do any good if I peer into her device after she's deleted content.
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Yes, I think this is the one I will go with. I think I'll be able to easily install it tonight. And the price is reasonable, too. Just have to figure out a way to pay for it without it showing up on our statement. My wife and I both keep a close eye on our accounts and so this charge will appear. Do you have another credit card you can use? What about buying an Amex giftcard at Walmart and using that?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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After having looked more closely at spyzie...it feels kind of sketch. The language and sentence structure just makes it feel sketch. And, I'm not clear if I am only able to view real time data or, like some other apps, get reports and see deleted data.
Searching for spyware here at MB, I don't get very many results. Does anyone here have experience with a specific software?
Last edited by DrDetroit24; 10/18/19 03:15 PM.
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Webwatcher is a good solid spyware. Did you check into that?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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https://www.flexispy.com/ might be another good option.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Webwatcher is a good solid spyware. Did you check into that? I did and am, again. Reviews for it are not very good (at least the ones I have read).
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