Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#3010631 10/24/19 01:23 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Hi Friends,

I haven't logged in for a long time! I am not sure if anyone remembers me. I was on the boards in the 2014-2015 era with a cheating husband. I am happy to report that I successfully went into Plan B, moved far away, and divorced him.

After the divorce, things became peaceful again and I started to date. I went on 20(!) coffee dates (it seemed more like a million) and ended up meeting a wonderful man, who I am marrying in January. He also had a wayward ex-wife, so he knows the drill, and his happy with MB principles.

Anyway, there is life after infidelity and it can be great again.

Last edited by PigletWiglet; 10/24/19 01:24 PM.

Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,786
Likes: 1
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,786
Likes: 1
I remember you Piglet, welcome back! MB principles are wonderful aren't they. I remarried in 2012 and it is so different. MB taught me how to my DH with respect and he does the same. Much easier to do that from the get-go. Seeing us together has helped my children too.


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 863
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 863
Hi PW! I remember you! Great to hear your update. I got remarried in 2016, and I now have two daughters! I don’t know if you remember that lawsuit by my ex’s AP, but it was eventually settled in my favor.


Remarried 7/16
Thanks MB!
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Congratulations!! Sometimes divorce is the definition of success and it sounds like you proved that.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Thanks, everyone (I remember all of you)!

I am glad that those who have remarried have found partners who are committed to the principles of a good marriage. When you are in the dark times, it is hard to see that there will be good times again.

I have been double-ly lucky to find a man who will be a good stepfather to my daughter. He did not have kids himself because his ex did not want them, which he was always sad about, but had resigned himself to.

But now he is very happy to be becoming a stepdad. I don't think we will have any more kids because I now have to take medication that may cause complications in pregnancy, but we are fine with that. We are just both grateful for the kiddo we have and are happy to have the family we always wanted. We are aware that being a blended family may cause stress that bio families do not have, so we are committed to the POJA. especially for things concerning the kiddo. I haven't seen any red flags concerning that at all. He is a former teacher, and principal, so overall he is great with kids.

My ex has been OK. Last year, my intermediary told me she couldn't do it anymore, so I started handling messages myself (not wanting to burden my friends any further). She must have trained him well (LOL)! He only sends messages concerning schedule changes for the kiddo (and there are not many). So, I am not in Plan B anymore, but I don't really know anything about his life, and I don't care. Plan B was great for getting into the rhythm of parallel parenting, which is our status quo now.



Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,786
Likes: 1
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,786
Likes: 1
My DH has become my intermediary. It works brilliantly. I would never have asked but he offered. Like your intended, he has no children of his own and is thrilled to have some now plus a dog.


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,344
Likes: 3
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,344
Likes: 3
Hi PigletWiglet! So wonderful to hear your good news. Thank you for coming back and sharing it with us.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968
Congrats PW, great update! Sounds like you have found a great guy, very happy for you. It's amazing how much of a difference it makes finding someone who will build the marriage on solid MB principles. Sounds like your Plan B has been solid. I've seen some stories on the forums over the years of ex-waywards poking and proding at betrayeds for years after the fact, glad you were able to slam the door on that.

I think living_well's idea of using your spouse as an IM is a good one, that's basically what my wife and I decided to do if there was any contact from my ex. You've got co-parenting to worry about so that's a more regular item in your case. I'd run it by your fiancee, my guess is it would make him feel more comfortable about the situation. And I think that's technically an EP we're supposed to follow anyways.


Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders"
2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more.

When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29
Married: 7 years
Together: 8 years
D-day: 10/5/2014
D filed: 1/22/2015
D Final: 6/4/2015

My story
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 991
Hi Ax,

You are right there. My fiance is free to see whatever he wants, but it makes sense to have him as an IM.

Thanks again, everyone! I am especially glad to see that Ax and nmwb77 are happily remarried. I felt like we are all 3 musketeers going through such awful experiences at the same time.



Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 863
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 863
Originally Posted by PigletWiglet
I am especially glad to see that Ax and nmwb77 are happily remarried. I felt like we are all 3 musketeers going through such awful experiences at the same time.

Me, too. It makes my heart happy to know you've found a good man. Coincidentally, I married a teacher. (Not quite the same as a principal, but was he previously a teacher by chance?)

Edit: Reading your post again, I see that he is a former teacher. smile

Last edited by nmwb77; 10/28/19 10:31 AM.

Remarried 7/16
Thanks MB!
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
I'm so happy for you and your daughter. May your lives be joyful from now on.


Belle, Domestic Goddess

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (1 invisible), 33 guests, and 58 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
cbm800, Dodo M, Kingpin, MikaylaVaux, I.P.
71,728 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,546
Posts2,322,790
Members71,729
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5