And her response to the above:

"That compromise can work if the basement living area is a space that i can work out in. If by Thanksgiving that space works then I am ok with you keeping your computer in the office. If it doesn't work then I will move into the office. I will help with the basement project if you tell me when i need to be available and for how long."

Awesome!! Now, let her know when you want her to help you with the basement project. That will give you a great opportunity to PRACTICE your changes. Did you see my post about reading the book Lovebusters? I would start on that asap so that you are not making mistakes that undermine your progress.

Have you checked the spyware you put on her phone? Any updates?

Awesome, spending time together. Make sure it is pleasant working together on the basement. Great opportunity to make love bank deposits. Plan this project good (fail-proof), if the result is to her liking and working together was nice, she will notice.

Eliminate all love busters.

Checking it multiple times a day - using mobistealth. I think I'm missing outgoing emails, but otherwise seeing outgoing emails, incoming and outgoing texts and calls, web browsing, and chats from other social media. Not a peep about the OM or to or from the OM.

I've started reading it.

Good job! Just keep your eyes peeled. Do you think she calls the OM?

Not that I can detect. She doesn't have a work phone and I haven't detected a burner.

I also have access to her work Email and don't see contact there.

Well, just saw that in a text from my wife to one of her teacher friends that my wife stopped by the OMs work today to drop off a letter to him and left it on his windshield.

I so so so tempted to text her right now or call her and ask her how her visit was or if she'd like to tell me why she's violating his request for non contact.

I also am wanting to text the OMs wife to let her know that my wife is back in contact with her husband.

Edit - apparently, the OM saw her and came out to talk to her.

I have a partial view of the text:

"I know you are all about signs, so interpret this... I stopped bu Lincolns work to drop off a letter. Left it on his windshield. He saw and came out to parking lot. While we were talking there was a loud pop and my car started to smoke. Called a tow truck, found a sunny place to sit. While waiting a student from RHS recognizes me- Yousif. Found another place to sit and there is a package of Parliment cigarettes on the ground. Parliments were my closest grandmas favorite brand to smoke."

I am shaking.

How do I go home and not confront, not disengage, etc.?

Edit - her friend replied but I didn't see it and here's my wife's response:

"Love you!!! Yes, let's chat soon! Love you interpretation! We aren't talking, he had to get back to work... but im sitting alone in the sun with my journal and enjoying not doing anything"

I am beside myself right now. I'm sitting here at work literally shaking.

So she's visiting the OM at work.

Apparently her car breaks down. She hasn't called me to say anything about that.

She was going to take the kids, no school today, for a hike or an outdoor activity, but didn't do that because she's apparently too busy meeting up with the OM.

I need to call the OMs wife and let her know.

Also, time to empty out the savings account. My wife simply cannot be trusted.

I am so disgusted right now.

Now she is lying to me via text:

"actually i am getting towed from costco to Bassett right now. no worries, i have it all under control"

So she's lying about where she's getting towed from, not Costco but OMs workplace.

I figured they were still in touch. You first need to calm down. Do you have any type of GPS on her car?

You need to calm down FIRST. You have to confront her in a way that does not reveal you are spying on her. But first you need to calm down.

No gps on her car. Mobistealth has a GPS function that I'm trying to.figure out.

ok, good. I would call the OM's wife and tell her what you know. But you have to frame it like this:

"I have been watching my wife's activities and wanted to let you know they are still in touch. She was at his office today and put a letter on his car. He came out and they spoke. i think you need to know this is still going on."

When you confront your wife you tell her you are "having her watched" and that is how you know. Tell her you know about the letter, the OM coming out and her car breaking down. First tell the OM's wife.

I texted her and said I'd bail out of work to come pick her up and we could finish shopping.

You cannot divulge your spy methods. Just say you are "having her watched." Tell her you won't ever tell her your methods because you have a right to know what she is doing behind your back. You have a right to protect yourself.

It's ok to be upset, NOT OK TO LOVEBUST HER. No angry outbursts.