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I need to call the OMs wife and let her know.
Also, time to empty out the savings account. My wife simply cannot be trusted. I figured they were still in touch. You first need to calm down. Do you have any type of GPS on her car? No gps on her car. Mobistealth has a GPS function that I'm trying to.figure out. ok, good. I would call the OM's wife and tell her what you know. But you have to frame it like this: "I have been watching my wife's activities and wanted to let you know they are still in touch. She was at his office today and put a letter on his car. He came out and they spoke. i think you need to know this is still going on." When you confront your wife you tell her you are "having her watched" and that is how you know. Tell her you know about the letter, the OM coming out and her car breaking down. First tell the OM's wife. Called the OMs wife and let her know. She asked how I knew and I told her that I just knew. Although forgot to tell her about the letter. Maybe I should I just text her that.
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[
Called the OMs wife and let her know. She asked how I knew and I told her that I just knew. Although forgot to tell her about the letter. Maybe I should I just text her that. YES, Text her that. And tell her you are having them watched. Tell her you can't tell her exactly how. You WANT her to tell that to the OM.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You cannot divulge your spy methods. Just say you are "having her watched." Tell her you won't ever tell her your methods because you have a right to know what she is doing behind your back. You have a right to protect yourself. Right, I won't. I'm wondering if I should drop this while we're all eating dinner together tonight or one on one? I called OMs wife back to tell her about the letter. She asked if they were meeting to exchange information. She seemed relatively unfazed. But I told her it sounded different than merely exchanging info.
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That comes off as a little paranoid and crazy...I'm texting it but I feel compelled to offer an explanation. It also feels threatening. I can imagine the OMWs reaction will be fear...
Last edited by DrDetroit24; 11/01/19 05:17 PM.
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I'm wondering if I should drop this while we're all eating dinner together tonight or one on one? I would do it in front of your kids. And also say that you have informed the OM's wife that contact has not ended. I called OMs wife back to tell her about the letter. She asked if they were meeting to exchange information. She seemed relatively unfazed. But I told her it sounded different than merely exchanging info. She is a fool. It is too bad you aren't going to get much help from her. I believe there is a plan between your wife and the OM and very possibly contact has never ended. This is why she is not in withdrawal.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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That comes off as a little paranoid and crazy...I'm texting it but I feel compelled to offer an explanation. Oh stop.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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That comes off as a little paranoid and crazy...I'm texting it but I feel compelled to offer an explanation. You obviously aren't paranoid or crazy if you have evidence they are sneaking around meeting up! Just saying that sounds obtuse.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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That comes off as a little paranoid and crazy...I'm texting it but I feel compelled to offer an explanation. Oh stop. I know I know...
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paranoid
"Someone who is paranoid has an irrational and obsessive distrust of others"
Your distrust is not irrational or obsessive. You were right!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm wondering if I should drop this while we're all eating dinner together tonight or one on one? I would do it in front of your kids. And also say that you have informed the OM's wife that contact has not ended. I called OMs wife back to tell her about the letter. She asked if they were meeting to exchange information. She seemed relatively unfazed. But I told her it sounded different than merely exchanging info. She is a fool. It is too bad you aren't going to get much help from her. I believe there is a plan between your wife and the OM and very possibly contact has never ended. This is why she is not in withdrawal. Ok, any suggestions on how to open the topic? Simply say that I know she was at the OMs workplace to see him and that she lied to me about where her car broke down? And also that I called Rachel to let her know?
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I guess I could just ask her how the OM is doing and see how she responds. Maybe get her lying in front of the boys.
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I texted the following to the OMW:
You asked how I knew this happened this afternoon. I didn't believe that they had stopped communicating or stepped seeing each other so I've been watching them
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I guess I could just ask her how the OM is doing and see how she responds. Maybe get her lying in front of the boys. No, no! Don't do that. Don't get into head games to try to entrap her. IT will end badly. Don't ever ask, just TELL. Just say "I had some very upsetting news and I want you to know I am devastated to learn you are still in touch with the OM even though you promised me and the OMW you would stop. You were seen at his office today putting a letter on his windshield. He saw and came out to speak to you. This was when your car started smoking. It didn't break down at Costco, it broke down at your boyfriend's office. I just want you to know I am heartbroken - and so is the OM's wife - to know you haven't really ended your affair."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I texted the following to the OMW:
You asked how I knew this happened this afternoon. I didn't believe that they had stopped communicating or stepped seeing each other so I've been watching them That was the perfect thing to say.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Wouldn't calling him her boyfriend kinda enflame the situation?
I can imagine her objecting to the characterization.
I can also imagine that she'll say that she was just trying to catch up with him or share news with him (she was invited to a second round admissions process for a Masters degree) or start in on me about how he was such a trusted friend, how I'm controlling her, etc.
I'll struggle to come up with something to say that isn't in anger or defensive.
Perhaps just repeat that, again, she's broken a promise to engage with another man and cheat on her family.
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This is going to be very hard this weekend not acting out or otherwise engaging in love busters. My whole mind and body is just telling me to explode and attempt to throw her out.
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This is going to be very hard this weekend not acting out or otherwise engaging in love busters. My whole mind and body is just telling me to explode and attempt to throw her out. This will be a great time to practice controlling your emotions. Losing your temper would feel good for a second, but it would be a stupid strategy that will only hurt YOU. Be strategic. You are in a long game, not a short game. Tell yourself, "I am not going to hurt myself and my kids by losing my temper. I am a man of strategy and control."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Wouldn't calling him her boyfriend kinda enflame the situation?
I can imagine her objecting to the characterization. She can't object to the truth. That is the truth and you should say it. It sounds outrageous because IT IS OUTRAGEOUS. It is outrageous for a married woman to have a boyfriend. I can also imagine that she'll say that she was just trying to catch up with him or share news with him (she was invited to a second round admissions process for a Masters degree) or start in on me about how he was such a trusted friend, how I'm controlling her, etc. She is controlling you by subjecting you to such dangerous, hurtful behavior. Her seeing the OM is painful to you and the OM's W. Why would she want to continue to hurt you? Her contact is not innocent at all. That is like a recovering alcoholic having a drink and pretending it was apple juice. You don't need to explain why her reaching out to her affair is painful and inappropriate.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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start in on me about how he was such a trusted friend, "You had an affair with him! A trusted "friend" does not have an affair with a married woman. Was he a "friend" to your marriage? To me? To your kids?" how I'm controlling her, etc. Asking her to stop hurting you and your kids is not "controlling." It is the OPPOSITE. SHE is controlling you. If you are beating your wife, it is "controlling" to ask you to stop?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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