Perhaps. And that was my first thought when I saw it.

On the other hand, Im keeping an open mind here. Maybe it was orchestrated, but maybe those were texts that were recycled for some reason.

It doesn't really matter, though, does it? What matters is my Plan A.

Of course it matters! If orchestrated that means they know you know and are trying to throw you off their path while they communicate some other way.

Contact between your wife and OM minimizes succes of your plan A.

Could she have a secret phone hidden somewhere?

Betting my car on that.

She has known for months that I had access to and was reading her emails and texts. So this likely wasn't an exercise to test anything, but who knows. I can see it both ways.

But your other point is important, ie, communicating via some other means.

Yes, I agree.

She could. I haven't in her car in a long time and have left her purse and school bag alone. I have access to those things whenever I want at night, so Ill start looking.

But you only had access to her texts by getting on her phone. She has locked that down now. She knows you can't get on her phone and read them. How are you accessing her emails?

OR she could have been texting this knowing you would read it and believe they have really ended contact. I don't know. But my alarms are going off because of the way they felt the need to talk about how they have been in "ironclad" non communication. If true, they would have no need to tell each other.

Ooohhh, this is getting interesting...

My wife has contacted our cell carrier and I'm seeing her side of the chat dialogue:

"the other line on my account has accessed all my contacts and is texting people in a wayvthat it looks like it is from my phone. 1. is that posssible 2. can it be changed"

"is there a way to text that is not from my phone that uses my phone number?"

"I am currently going through a divorce and will need to seperate our sprint lines, what is the best way for me to do this? Would going to the store be quickest and easiest"

"im not a tech savy person and need to reset all my passwords, can a service rep at a store help me with this?"

She really does think that I am sending texts to the OM and making it look like it was her number sending them.

She also seems to think that the way I am allegedly doing this is because I have her passwords.

Yikes.

My real concern now is that should she take her phone to. Sprint store, some know-nothing will simply factory reset her phone and my spyware gets removed as a result.

Spyware and using a laptop that she logged into and which saved her email password.

I'm hearing the same bells.

It's weird that he would tell someone that he's been in no communication that he's been good at not being in communication.

I wonder if this is her attempt to fabricate a reason to remove my line from our shared sprint account.

Quirky how she describes her current situation to others, ie, going through a divorce even though no attorney retained, no filing, etc.

Also, tonight will be weird. She will be expecting that my check would be deposited into our joint checking, but it went into my sole acct. I wonder if she will say anything.

Further, after a problem with our shared banking institution, my transfer of savings should happen tomorrow or Monday.

I really appreciate this message.

Ironically, last week she and I worked on a chore list to earn screen time. Neither boy has a phone, though each has a tablet and access to tv, laptop, Xbox. So we came up with a plan and expectations of chores to earn screen time. And we are already enforcing it. Although, my wife is giving additional time with and without doing extra chores.

Our youngest boy last night fussed about and refused to do dishes and garbage. We took away screens for today and, as we agreed with them last week, noted that unfinished chores would result in continuing the no screen time until the chore(s) were done. Ultimately he completed the chore,but man it was a lot of work. And that's my problem.

I just won't let it go when he's sassin, back talking, refusing to do something he's been asked. I need to just give the instruction and if not complied with with then remind of the consequence and walk away. If it's done, great, if not, then enforce the consequence, no more cajoling, no more yelling, no threats, no additional consequences.

So, a revision to your suggested response:

Thank you for being willing to consider discussing the boy's behavior in the future.

Until then, I very much want to respond to the boys firmly, but with love and not anger to avoid the escalations we have seen in the past. With that in mind, I would appreciate your support when I impose a consequence, such as when I take away screen time. I will support you as well. For me this would mean that when you impose a consequence, I will tell one or both that I agree with you and will reinforce to them the importance of following directions and behaving respectfully to both of us.

But I think we need to discuss the sequence of consequences. Last night, Boy 2 was not persuaded to do his chores by taking away screens for today. I'd like to talk about whether in these situations we want to impose additional consequences or that we simply walk away from the argument and let the consequences be as they are.

I'd also like to discuss what additional consequences, beyond taking away screen time, we want to consider for more serious behavior issues. For example, when one or both boys are physically hurting one another, cursing, or being extremely disrespectful to each other or us, taking away screen time may be insufficient.

I think we both have effective strategies and I value your input, so it's important to me that we are on the same page and present to the boys a united front when it comes to their behavior.

I'm not so sure that this cell carrier chat is legitimate or another attempt to flush you out. Tread with caution. Heed those warning bells, and do NOT divulge your snooping methods!

If the phone ends up getting reset, you still have other methods available, both electronic and a private investigator.

We see it quite a bit with wayward spouses. They talk alot about divorce when they are in the fog but don't always act. You did good here focusing on her ACTIONS and not her talk. Very often they never file and it all blows over. Or they will file and then change their minds.

Hmm, interesting. What I posted was from a keylogger. From that same keylogger I saw she was entering a username password combo. From the browsing tab I saw she was going to our cell providers website. And from her texts I saw she received a one time passcode from our cell provider. So I think it's legit.

Dr D, using the phrase "I would appreciate it if...." can come off as a demand. I reworded so you are asking for mutual agreement instead of asking her to comply with your position.

Also, walking away is your friend. Don't get your emotions involved. An angry man is a fool. Don't be a fool. Be pragmatic and behave in a way that is attractive to your wife. Focus on your goal of winning your wife back, not on your frustration. Be the man she will want.

Walk away EXPECTING them to comply. If they follow after you then impose an additional consequence and walk away again. While you are practicing walking away, you might just walk away to the bathroom. They can't follow you there.

Or you could walk away to the garage and when they follow you say "While you're here, I need you to give me a hand at ..... (something they won't enjoy doing)."

Lol - wonder if this explains what we saw yesterday? https://www.theverge.com/platform/a...-received-overnight-valentines-day-delay

Now, the really troubling thing, if this is related to what we saw yesterday, is that the article refers to messages sent on Valentine's Day. According to my wife, they slowly developed feelings for each other that culminated in late Spring.