My wife knows already that I can detect texting between her and OM via our shared cell phone account, but that I cannot see the content. The only thing that would bust me here is that the cell phone site records lag by half a statement period, so I wouldn't, in reality, see this contact until two weeks from on the cell phone site.

Ok, but she would have memorized it.

What's weird is the content of that text message. Perhaps because I am biased and colored lenses, but that's not a text I would send to another dude. Some of that text is what I would send to a woman, though.

Interestingly,, he does indicate in that text that he's been mr ironclad on the communication front, which could mean he's talking about no communication with my wife (except, that's not true given last Friday and the letter thing).

Also, the content suggests that the other person is someone he's not in contact with frequently.

What are you talking about? Didn't he send that text to your wife? Confused...

Moot per next post...

Ok, so they're texting each other now:

From the OM, "Hmm. it was probably DrDet baiting me - or maybe an old text that got lot in the ether. Here is the series of texts I received from you at 11:05pm. I want to be with you in the worst [censored] way! My emotional state is raw I'm tired, this cold is still lingering. I have no appetite, low energy and I'm in love with you. I stepped on the scale this morning...125lbs, it's not good Your marriage would be different if OMW didn't have her incident. You would still be the couple to envy, what is happening between us wouldn't be happening You communicate Just reread your text about your evening, wish I could have been there. It's sounds hilarious, glad you had a good memerable laugh."

My wife's response to him, "not from me, sorry this is disturbing"

Wow, this is weird....My wife doesn't have a cold, though she did a few weeks ago. And now that i think about what he sent back to her - I have seen some of my wife's writing wherein she does talk about how the OMs marriage would different if his wife hadnt had an accident wherein she almost died and suffered minor brain damage. The text that he sent back to her also includes a line about something being hilarious and I think I saw a text like that from my wife to the OM, but that was before I discovered the EA. So it is possible that he was responding to a long-ago-sent text from mt wife.

But now we know he thought he was responding to my wife.

I am amused that he thinks I am baiting him. I cant send texts from my wife's phone nor look at it as she's using a lock screen now with a PIN I don't know.

Ok, so I need some help on the Plan A front.

She's resistant to conversation; she loves to be outdoors hiking and that seems to be coming up on Monday with my cousin from back east, but each time I've tried to plan something with the kids and invited her, she's declined; while she has a mtn bike and loves that, I have onyl a road bike, so that's out (I believe that she bought that mtn bike - with my help) because the OM had been an avid mtn biker years ago; I need some help here thinking of ways to meet ENs.

So somehow an old text got resent? That is great evidence right there!

I would do little things around the house like make a special dinner, clean up the kitchen, do a load of laundry. Try to think of things she likes you to do. And of course, when we recommend conversation, we mean very light subject. NO deep subjects. Like you could mention something about a TV show you both like or something that is currently in the news.

AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T TELL THE OM'S W ANYTHING RIGHT NOW!! Let them keep texting.

Too late, though I limited it to simply that he texted her.

I think it’s one of two things.

1. OM is responding to a text WW sent before she suspected you are seeing her text content. Her reply, since she now suspects/knows that you see her conversations, is to deny having sent OM the original text.

2. OM or OM&WW are baiting you to see if/how you respond.

For now, I wouldn’t let on that you’ve seen this text exchange. I’d also avoid telling the OMwife about it, both because she would blow your cover and because she seems to be a complete enabler.

I’d let this exchange continue longer to see where it goes and what else you can learn. Check with the vets here before divulging anything.

MelodyLane, what do you think?

Exactly! DrD, I realize you contacted the OM's wife once, but did you contact her after that?

I contacted her 2x today. The first was to let her know that my wife was looking up a local running event that my wife and the OM did earlier this year and that they signed up to do again next year. So I was reminding her that they had signed up to do this event next year.

Second text was to tell her husband had texted my wife, but I didn't divulge the content.

OMW struggles with alcoholism, right? How stable is she?

A new text from my wife to the OM:

"you have been ironclad about not communicating with me in any way. As my letter stated, i appreciate the'no communication' I should have been more respectful of your request to not communicate and i shouldn't have left that letter. Safe travels"

Don't know. A few weeks ago she texted me indicating that it was probably not a good idea to communicate further so she could focus on her family. Since then, I haven't talked to her at all about how shes doing with the drinking.

Yup, orchestrated.

DrD, don't say anything to anyone again about these texts. It does seem like it is orchestrated and designed to flush you out. I wonder if they are testing to see if you can read their texts. Why else would they say so much about "not communicating" unless they are trying to prove a point to someone? If they truly haven't been in contact, why the need to say it over and over? Maybe not, but don't give yourself away.

They have another method to communicate. Snoop cafeful, they are cautious now. How about hiding a VAR in her car to find out?