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I texted the OMW after she left. The OMW says that they were laughing at what a f#$ked up situation this is and then said that my wife is a good person.

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Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
Interesting development... Pulled in from picking up one of my boys and the OMW is here. Talk to her for a few outside and I find out that my texts last week caused the OMW to drink then call her brother and told him about the affair and now he's angry with the OM. The OMW then tells me that they've been keeping the affair a secret. So she's blaming my text for that.

I explained to her again that I was texting her about my wife because her marriage can't be worked on while my wife continues trying to contact and meet the OM. The OMW then proceeded to tell me that she believes there's no contact between my wife and the OM because the OM insists that there is no contact. So I shared almost everything I read in my wife's writing and suggested that the there's two possibilities, either there in contact and he's lying to her or my wife is simply communicating with no return communication.

Then the OMW tells me that she doesn't want her oldest son over at my house any more and vice versa with my sons. I told her I agree and then she asked if my wife was home. We go inside and the OMW explains that she doesn't want the boys in each others homes and I also say I agree. The OMW thennasks my wife to go outside to talk. I don't know what they're talking about but after a few minutes I do heary wife tell the OMW "good for you" and they're laughing loudly a few minutes after that. Wtf?

So this means they have successfully hidden their affair from the OM's wife because you a) don't have solid evidence and b) you didn't expose to the OM's family. Your wife and her lover have the help of the OM wife and you in hiding their affair. In the meantime, your sneaky wife sneaks over to her friends house and shags her boyfriend.

Maybe it's time to put down the snark and get to work and take effective, impactful steps to stop the affair?

[notable that it took the OM's wife to finally end the association between your children even though I told you to do that weeks ago. More IGNORED ADVICE]


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
I texted the OMW after she left. The OMW says that they were laughing at what a f#$ked up situation this is and then said that my wife is a good person.

Of course.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
Talk to her for a few outside and I find out that my texts last week caused the OMW to drink then call her brother and told him about the affair and now he's angry with the OM.

I would suggest she drank for 2 reasons very unrelated to your texts: 1. she is an alcoholic. You did not cause her alcoholism, I assure you. 2. she drank because he is hiding from her husband's affair.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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If you can get this evidence, you can expose this affair to the OM's family and the OMW's family and cause him hell on earth. So far, you have caused just enough trouble to allow them to dismiss you and go further underground. The OM will not want all this trouble because his only interest is a free side piece. He is not going to bother if you create alot of conflict and properly expose this.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
How are they communicating? Via text? Do you know if they talk on the phone?

I don't know how they are communicating. I imagine it's via text and email.

I've looked for opportunities to place the spyware back on her phone but it's almost always locked and when I get a look it's for no more than a minute.

I thought last night about re-exposing them but her family is already aware that we're getting a divorce.

So you need to figure it out. I didn't say to expose about your divorce, but about the affair. The affair needs to be exposed again.

I would also add here that divorce has not even been filed. It is just empty talk that has never been backed up by action.You are very married and very much together.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
How are they communicating? Via text? Do you know if they talk on the phone?

I don't know how they are communicating. I imagine it's via text and email.

I've looked for opportunities to place the spyware back on her phone but it's almost always locked and when I get a look it's for no more than a minute.

I thought last night about re-exposing them but her family is already aware that we're getting a divorce.

So you need to figure it out. I didn't say to expose about your divorce, but about the affair. The affair needs to be exposed again.

I would also add here that divorce has not even been filed. It is just empty talk that has never been backed up by action.You are very married and very much together.

My wife has filed, I haven't been served.

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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
If you can get this evidence, you can expose this affair to the OM's family and the OMW's family and cause him hell on earth. So far, you have caused just enough trouble to allow them to dismiss you and go further underground. The OM will not want all this trouble because his only interest is a free side piece. He is not going to bother if you create alot of conflict and properly expose this.

But what if the OM is in it for more than a side piece?

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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
Interesting development... Pulled in from picking up one of my boys and the OMW is here. Talk to her for a few outside and I find out that my texts last week caused the OMW to drink then call her brother and told him about the affair and now he's angry with the OM. The OMW then tells me that they've been keeping the affair a secret. So she's blaming my text for that.

I explained to her again that I was texting her about my wife because her marriage can't be worked on while my wife continues trying to contact and meet the OM. The OMW then proceeded to tell me that she believes there's no contact between my wife and the OM because the OM insists that there is no contact. So I shared almost everything I read in my wife's writing and suggested that the there's two possibilities, either there in contact and he's lying to her or my wife is simply communicating with no return communication.

Then the OMW tells me that she doesn't want her oldest son over at my house any more and vice versa with my sons. I told her I agree and then she asked if my wife was home. We go inside and the OMW explains that she doesn't want the boys in each others homes and I also say I agree. The OMW thennasks my wife to go outside to talk. I don't know what they're talking about but after a few minutes I do heary wife tell the OMW "good for you" and they're laughing loudly a few minutes after that. Wtf?

So this means they have successfully hidden their affair from the OM's wife because you a) don't have solid evidence and b) you didn't expose to the OM's family. Your wife and her lover have the help of the OM wife and you in hiding their affair. In the meantime, your sneaky wife sneaks over to her friends house and shags her boyfriend.

Maybe it's time to put down the snark and get to work and take effective, impactful steps to stop the affair?

[notable that it took the OM's wife to finally end the association between your children even though I told you to do that weeks ago. More IGNORED ADVICE]

You are right.


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Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
If you can get this evidence, you can expose this affair to the OM's family and the OMW's family and cause him hell on earth. So far, you have caused just enough trouble to allow them to dismiss you and go further underground. The OM will not want all this trouble because his only interest is a free side piece. He is not going to bother if you create alot of conflict and properly expose this.

But what if the OM is in it for more than a side piece?

What if he is? How would that change any of the advice?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
[




I thought last night about re-exposing them but her family is already aware that we're getting a divorce.

So you need to figure it out. I didn't say to expose about your divorce, but about the affair. The affair needs to be exposed again. [/quote]

I would also add here that divorce has not even been filed. It is just empty talk that has never been backed up by action.You are very married and very much together.. [/quote]

My wife has filed, I haven't been served.[/quote]

DID YOU READ MY POST? Why would talk of divorce change the fact that your wife is married? That the OM is married, rendering the exposure ineffective? You well know the OM and your wife do not want it exposed, so I don't know what you mean here.

The OM and your wife know the negative effect of exposure on their affair, WHY DON'T YOU?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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OMG, got a text from the OMW that said, "I trust OM he is not and hasn't continued the relationship."

Wow.

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Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
OMG, got a text from the OMW that said, "I trust OM he is not and hasn't continued the relationship."

Wow.

They have effectively gaslighted her. What are you going to do about it?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
If you can get this evidence, you can expose this affair to the OM's family and the OMW's family and cause him hell on earth. So far, you have caused just enough trouble to allow them to dismiss you and go further underground. The OM will not want all this trouble because his only interest is a free side piece. He is not going to bother if you create alot of conflict and properly expose this.

But what if the OM is in it for more than a side piece?

What if he is? How would that change any of the advice?

If he's in it for more than a side piece then why would exposure deter him?

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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
OMG, got a text from the OMW that said, "I trust OM he is not and hasn't continued the relationship."

Wow.

They have effectively gaslighted her. What are you going to do about it?

Finally wake up and contact both the OM and OMWs families that I can reach.

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Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
If you can get this evidence, you can expose this affair to the OM's family and the OMW's family and cause him hell on earth. So far, you have caused just enough trouble to allow them to dismiss you and go further underground. The OM will not want all this trouble because his only interest is a free side piece. He is not going to bother if you create alot of conflict and properly expose this.

But what if the OM is in it for more than a side piece?

What if he is? How would that change any of the advice?

If he's in it for more than a side piece then why would exposure deter him?

Another EXCUSE. It is exhausting that you fight every single suggestion and come up with endless excuses to not take the appropriate steps.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
OMG, got a text from the OMW that said, "I trust OM he is not and hasn't continued the relationship."

Wow.

They have effectively gaslighted her. What are you going to do about it?

Finally wake up and contact both the OM and OMWs families that I can reach.

Nope, you need to get the evidence. Without fresh evidence, you MISSED the opportunity to expose to his family and friends. That ship has sailed.



"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I'm not going to get the OMWs assistance here.

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Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
I'm not going to get the OMWs assistance here.

Of course not. Because without any evidence the adulterers are free to deny anything you say.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by DrDetroit24
I'm not going to get the OMWs assistance here.


Why in the world would she assist if she believes the affair has ended?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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