Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 19
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 19 |
I am not married but have been dating a guy for 2 1/2 years. I was in an awful marriage that did not involve cheating for 15 years with 3 1/2 years of dating prior. Anyway, current guy has been cheating. Okay so normally when this happens you just go your separate ways. This guy is asking for couples counseling. HIs "OW" is still around. He claims they are "friends". I made the appointment for couples counseling but I mean how worth it is it? When we aren't dealing with the problems in our "relationship" things go well. When I deal with him and other women it's not fine.
Is it worth it to go through the whole Plan A and Plan B (which lets be honest, plan B is likely see ya never again for ME) and Counseling? LIke WHY does he want counseling?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
You should move on. Dating is a job interview for marriage and he has flunked the interview. While you are wasting time with a failed candidate, you could be dating other, more appropriate men. And no, Dr Harley would never recommend Plan A and Plan B outside of marriage. "Counseling" would be a waste of time.
You lucked out and found out sooner rather than later.. It would be harder to deal with this if you were married and had children.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2026
Posts: 1
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2026
Posts: 1 |
It’s time to move forward. Dating is essentially an evaluation for a long-term partnership, and he hasn’t met the mark. Continuing to invest time in someone who’s clearly not a good fit only keeps you from meeting others who might be. And no, Dr. Harley wouldn’t suggest Plan A or Plan B outside of marriage—counseling in this case would likely just drain your time and energy.
In a way, you were fortunate to learn this now rather than later. It would be far more complicated and painful if this had surfaced after marriage or with children involved.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2023
Posts: 12
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2023
Posts: 12 |
Honestly, a lot of the time they just want to ease their own guilt or try to look like they're "trying" to outside eyes without actually doing the painful heavy lifting of changing. When my friend went through something similar, counseling was used more as a shield to say "look, we went!" rather than a tool to fix the actual broken trust. If there's no real accountability or willingness to cut off the affair fog completely, all the therapy in the world isn't going to make a difference.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
2,006
guests, and
34
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,662
Posts2,323,633
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
|
|
