Did something today that's either really stupid or really smart.

Texting with WW, she sent me a posting for a job reply that was an obvious scam to me. I showed her what was fake and had an idea.

I offered her a job reading every page on the MB website at a per-page rate, so long as she didn't feel it was crossing boundaries or hurting her. She accepted the job. So she's either going to learn how to take care of the OM really well or find a little hope for our marriage.

Anyone done this, heard of someone doing this before?

Blackhawk did a super job explaining Dr Harley's position on Plan B for men. It is not to punish or teach her a lesson, it is only to protect yourself emotionally if and when that becomes necessary. Just stay the course and focus on protecting yourself financially.

My plan B question is not to punish her, it's to protect myself. I'm still going over and providing a lot of support, helped her brainstorm job ideas, fixing stuff on her motorhome, driving over to take her ice cream because she wanted a snack. Steven Harley suggested i plan B because it would make her face reality since she's not feeling any consequences of the affair except our girls won't speak to her. She still has money, she's out of the house, no responsibilities, no worries. Just chat all day on her chat room with people who give terrible advice and chat with the OM. Really, it's a pretty sweet gig. And i think maybe I'm enabling it by meeting her needs when she wants me to and being gone when she doesn't.

Dr Harley also said to delay the divorce and plan A bit didn't tell me whether i should put her back in the house.

It was confusing. Maybe I'm not plan A correctly. It's hard separated anyway, maybe impossible.

Yes, it is exceedingly difficult to plan A if she is not living with you. You seem to be doing it though with some success with all of the attention you are giving her. On the other hand, it may be difficult to get your WW out of the house when it is time to go to plan B, but in your case she left already to live in your motor home, right? It seems you are physically close enough to plan A her, but also she is out of the house so you have some space and protection from her.

Regarding your advice from Steve Harley, if confused or second-guessing things, I would suggest to schedule another session to clarify his advice so you are not guessing on the best approach in such a difficult time. I realize it is a lot if information to internalize and apply.

That is a correct reason to go into Plan B. If you are sure he said that, I would plan to do it.

I think I'm ready to throw in the towel. According to her, there's nothing left to talk about but logistics to get this divorce filed. According to the great people here, there's nothing to be done with a serial cheater and according to my heart, I've taken all i can.

Any helpful tips to get through two more weeks until divorce is filed so i can plan B? I've located an IM that is a friend to us both, happens to be a gay guy so no chance of either of us getting involved lol, and I'm educating him on the process, rules, etc.

Check this out: WHAT TO DO WITH A SERIAL CHEATER Willard F. Harley, Jr., PhD

Strong suggestion, email Dr Harley and get his feedback on your situation. [it's free] mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. I ran this by him and agrees you should just file for divorce and move on.

"Get a good attorney and have the attorney speak for you. Let the kids speak for themselves. File for full custody so the court doesn't force the kids to see their mother and boyfriend."

Thanks MelodyLane, i emailed him this morning and will be talking to him Friday. My WW states she is going to email her story to them today or tomorrow, which would be the first time she's really taken any initiative if she follows through. Will be interesting to see what she says is unforgivable on my part.

Until then, plan A. Spent an hour in the phone with her today talking like we're not getting divorced. I'm sure it's been said before by many people, but this is so weird.

Did Dr Harley ask you to ask her to do that?

Joyce did

Gotcha, I will listen on Friday!

p.s. please don't send your wife to this forum because you will lose it as a resource.

Thanks, but it may be too late, maybe not. I've shown her the site, she knows the forums exist, although i think she lost interest in reading through the site pretty quick.

Obviously it would not be a good idea for her to read this thread with us telling you expose and file for divorce. Nor can we help a wayward in the midst of an affair. Talking to her would only cause conflict here.

So with talking to dr harley of the air, then on, it would seem that i have nowhere to go. Filed for divorce yesterday, and had to set boundaries with the WW to talk about only kids, divorce proceedings and money but kept communication open. She and i were talking/ texting all day like we were back together even though we weren't and she's still in an active affair.

Off the air Dr Harley recommended i divorce and divorce quickly. He said he saw no reason to plan A or plan B. Basically left me in a place where all hope is lost and my family is broken forever. That's a tough pill to swallow.

He did say the affair will end at some point and maybe we would be able to find something in the other side but said even then, never marry her.

I guess this is the end of this thread. I hate where my wife has put my family and i don't want to move on. Thanks to everyone that attempted to help.

RO, were you on Friday? I would like to listen. I am sorry about this news, but I think he is right. Like I have told you before, you really need to file for divorce and get legal protection. Your wife broke up your family and your kids know this.

I was on last Monday/ Tuesday. Divorce was filed 4 days ago.