Hi, I'm new here. My H and I have been married 7 years and have 3 kids ages 2-5. He works a very demanding job with long and unpredictable hours and I stay at home and manage the household. I discovered Marriage Builders a few days ago and have done a ton of reading and am suffering from information overload at this point. A month ago I discovered that my H had been engaged in what could be considered an EA with someone from his workplace. He has cut off contact with her and arranged for her accounts to be managed by someone else. He acknowledged that the OW is not the issue but that we've lost our love for each other and need to learn how to love each other again. My H wants us to do marriage counseling, but I am terrified that it will only make things worse, in addition to draining our savings. I am very passive and usually just go along with whatever he wants me to do, even if it causes me pain, so I am not sure how to introduce this program to him. He is very resistant to ideas I've read in books or on the internet in general. I thought I might introduce the Seminar/DVD program as an alternative to the marriage counseling, as the cost is the same as what the initial counseling appointment would be, and maybe it would satisfy his need for something more tangible than a book full of words (he's not much of a reader.) I was hoping someone might me able to lead me to how others have sucessfully introduced the idea to their spouse. I tried to get him to watch the videos on here but he watched the infidelity one and couldn't get past the part where he needs to quit his job due to the A because his job is the most important thing in his life right now. Advice on how to get him on board is much appreciated!

Welcome to MB and I am sorry for what has brought you here.

Is the OW (other woman) married? So he works with her and sees her everyday at work?

How did you find out about the affair?

Have you read the exposure 101 thread?

Welcome to MB.

As well as answering Brain Hurts's questions, could you please tell us the nature of this EA? What kinds of things did they do and say to each other? What makes you think it wasn't physical? For how long did it go on?

In what ways has he "cut off contact with her"?

It will be impossible for you to build love in your marriage if your husband sees his woman at work, so the question about counselling is a bit premature. What is stopping your husband from changing his place of work, while keeping his line of work?