I've been struggling to repent of my past mistakes that both my wife and I believe were done because of what is called "wrong thinking". There has never been any infidelity in our marriage. We've been married almost 40 years now. I've lived an independent life for all of that time. My most aggregious sin was to ride a bicycle to the point where it became an obsession like I was an alcoholic. This did huge damage to our marriage because I used to lie about it, hide it from her, spend all of our time together thinking about my next ride or the next new part that I wanted to buy. Long story short, I gave up the bike cold turkey about 5 years ago and after a short stint of struggling with giving it up, got over it and never looked back. The bike became like an affair to my wife and me. There have been other events as well in our past that all really have a common thread; I have acted independently, not involved my wife in decisions that impacted her and I've avoided dealing with those mistakes because I believe that I have some kind of PTSD related to her reaction to my inconsiderate/damaging behaviors. My "wrong thinking" habits have been ways that I have justified my behaviors over the years. I have a list of more than 60 of these "wrong thinking" behaviors and I can honestly say that I have used and continue to use many of these. Over the past 2 years, I have really finally acknowledged my part in this situation and now I'm trying to do what's right and change my behaviors but I keep failing at the repentance. My PTSD makes me afraid to approach my wife to talk about any of my past mistakes. My lack of approaching my wife of my own free will makes my wife angry to where she reacts and then my PTSD kicks in and I just avoid her. Its a horrible Groundhog Day kind of situation and I don't know how to overcome my fear of approaching my wife. Logically, I can see that her reaction is partly my fault. I also can see that her reaction is partly her fault. I'm not sure what to do and would love to discuss this in a thread. I have read His Needs Her Need, Love Busters and Overcoming an Affair by Dr Harley. I understand the basic marriage builder principles but I'm so deep in this that I can't seem to claw my way to the right path so that we can recreate our relationship. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Have you seen a psychiatrist or psychologist for your PTSD? Have you been diagnosed?

Have you apologized to your wife with words and actions?

Hi BrainHurts, I have had some counseling over the past 3 years or so. Most of it was based on a narcissistic class designed to help folks with these sorts of tendencies to battle them. This is when I started to open my eyes and understand what I had done and how my behaviors, gaslighting, lying, hiding, etc. had impacted my wife. I understand how many of us use compensating behaviors to help us through situations that we can't emotionally process. I have realized that I have been extremely good at leaning on these sorts of crutches to help me deal with the problems in our marriage. Now that I understand these things, I know that I have to do something different. I have not had any counseling related to what I would call PTSD at all. I don't know if that's what it is but its what it feels like to me.

I have apologized to my wife many times over but she believes that I am insincere. I have found that its very hard to build trust after so many years of dishonesty.

I was in quite the pickle at 34 feeling like a romantic disaster, searching for a little meaning in my life, and of course, my long lost Prince Charming. My heart belonged to my childhood sweetheart, I tried everything to get him out of my head, but the more I fought it, the more I felt like I was in a rom-com gone wrong. So, I decided to seek for help because I wanted to feel like a proper woman again, not just a “lost cause” wandering through life.

I reached out for both psychological and spiritual help, that’s when I met a rather unexpected advisor (a quirky friend who tells it like it is). He dissected my romantic history like a surgeon and revealed that my destiny was tied to my childhood love (I never mentioned him to anyone, but somehow, this spiritualist knew) He assured me my ex felt the same way, and that I was the key to helping him find his path again. Now, keep in mind, my ex and I hadn’t spoken in over 18 years. I had no clue if he was even alive, let alone what he looked like. But I believed the advice I received and let him cast a goodwill love spell. I was told I’d hear from him within 48 hours.

Well, 48 hours came and went, and I was a bundle of nerves, I wrote back for clarification, and guess what? My advisor chuckled and told me to check my messages. Lo and behold, there was a text from my ex 😳turns out he’d been trying to reach me but couldn’t for some bizarre reason. He got my number from my cousin at a local restaurant (thank you, spaghetti and meatballs 😜). The conversation flowed as if no time had passed at all. It felt like my heart had been waiting for this moment forever. Fast forward to now 30th of this month marks our one year reunion anniversary.

So, if you’re in a similar boat feeling lost, longing for a past love, or just trying to restore your relationship reach out to omegalovetemple@gmail.com I can’t thank Omega enough for helping me rediscover my happiness. Trust me, your Prince Charming might just be waiting for you too. Don’t remain single for the rest of your life.