I thought we were growing old together. I pictured holding your hand for the rest of my life. I pictured us both old, and me rubbing your feet after a hard days work. I wanted to keep traveling and camping, and experiencing life together, as a team.

But you’ve been checked out for years. You’ve already processed all of these feelings that I’m now drowning in. You shut me out. You say I don’t “see” you or care how you are. I intentionally carved out a chunk of my day, every day, for just that. I brought you flowers and lunch when you were having a rough day. But that wasn’t enough to show you that I cared, and that I’m here to support my teammate and best friend.

Yet you put on a face like everything was ok, and went to someone else for emotional support. Not putting any effort into me, the one that has been here for you. Playing suzie home maker and schlepping the kids around to all of your sporting events. I was here. I was here for you when you had panic attacks. You gave pieces of yourself to someone else and then resented me for not being there.

How am I supposed to operate around someone who is hiding how they’re feeling.

You set me up to fail. Now you have a rebound waiting until the divorce is final. And I’m stuck here drowning in a sea of loss.

Sorry for what you are going through. Do you want to talk about it?