Thanks ya'll for the imput,<BR>FYI, I did speak to an attorney, he said in NC, the parents have to prosecute. This BOYS parents don't really care about him. He has been on his own for some time. He also spent 9 months in jail. This started out as my W mothering/big sistering him. He had a crush on her the whole summer, he decided to rollthe dice and it payed off for him. He is a full blown alcoholic and drug addict. Add second dimension to this, my W who also is co-dependant due to my years of drug addiction, whants to fix him. Add third dimension,she is also recovering drug addict in a mental relapse, can't break the compulsive obsession for this BOY. She has been honest enough to tell me this, and I do appritiate that. No I don't think she will end it if we separate. Moreover I have been able to stay out of denial, thanks to Dr. Harley's succinct analogies of the mind and behavior of adulterers. She did read my letter this morning and thanked me for it. I am opening myself up to her, allowing myself to be vulnerable, something I didn't do before all this. I will continue to plan-A her, it does have some positive effects eroding her walls toward me. I am doing the things she always wanted me to do for myself.My motives are pure it's stuff God has been wanting me to do for a log time and I do have alot of peace because of that. I can only imagine the crap this KID is saying to her. I know he is a con-artist thats one of the things he went to jail for. I know if I keep doing what God requires of my I will eventually be more attractive to her than this criminal CHILD. She wants to do the right thing, however her addiction(disease) won't allow her to. I know alot about addiction, it wants us to avoid the "pain" of living at all costs. This relationship is pure fantacy< albeit the feelings are real to her. I know fantacy Was my first drug and one I've used sice I've been clean to get me out of today and life's "pain". She has told me these things herself. So I really do empathise With her, I weouldn't want to be in her shoes. She is powerless, powerlessness means doing things against our own will, and it's a terribly frightening place to be. She has told me fear rules her day. I have devised a simple prayer, well actualy my wonderful sister-in-law gave me the idea. It goes "God give her no peace until she lives in Your will". I konw it's kind of devious but it applies. So iI will continue to Plan-A her and endure the searing pain. God has blessed me with alot of growth already and I know he won't give me more pain than I can handle at one time. "God Wastes No Wound". Thank you ALL for allowing me to get to know you, and you to get to know me. In NA wehave a saying "pain shared is pain lessened". I'll keep sharing, and coming back. <BR>I love you all,<BR>Thanks, <BR>------------------<BR>BB<P>IP: Logged<BR><P>------------------<BR>BB