It gets real freakin’ old, ya’ know?<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

What happened??<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

She calls, “says blah, blah, blah“, I say, “I Love You,“ she says, “I know,” or “okay.”<P>I talked to her on 6 Sep, 29 Sep, 26 Oct and tonight 12 Nov. Real f*ckin’ good marriage, eh?<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Chris... Chris... Chris...<P>I feel bad for you....<P>Look... your not getting any messages of <BR>"you a@@shole"... "f*** **u"... and "here comes sh!$head"....<P>I know this is no comfort to you now...<BR>It may never be...<P>Prayers... and more prayers... and more prayers coming your way now...<P> <P>Jim<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited November 12, 1999).]

I am so sorry, Chris. Yuck <P>It does get old, you're right!<P>Your marriage is beyond struggling, and you're giving your heart out only to be stomped on... I'm just sorry.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Chris,<P>OK, you have been the fencepost holding the rest of us up, so here is a fencepost for you to lean on <P>So aggravating that our S's KNOW we are still sitting here, still waiting and still loving them!<P>I really feel for you. You are such a GOOD person and surely deserve more than this. Alas, I can offer nothing but the fencepost. Please lean as long as you need to.....<P>Roll Me Away

((((((((chris)))))))))<P>------------------<BR>Bobbie<P><BR>

Sorry to hear your struggling Chris!!<BR>I wish I could give you some words of encouragement, but I have none.

Chris,<P>Hang on dude. You are one of the very many here that helped me along to find my life and self esteem again. I would probably be in a nut house right now if if wasn't for this site and you guys.<P>Let's do the glass half full/empty thing.<P>You did not hear from her for many months.<BR>Now she is starting to call. Maybe she says just to talk with the girls. It's ok, she wants to talk to you too but just doesn't know it. "They" are in a very confused state right now. Perhaps New Hampshire.<P>Yes, It gets old really quick. Do you really want a fast patch that may only hold for a few months or are you willing to go the long haul and have a permanent complete repair/building of you marriage that will last a lifetime. I'd rather wait myself. My other choice is to finalize divorce around Valentines Day 2000.<P>Yeah, you know what, I miss my Valerie, but in her current confused mental state I feel it would be worse for both of us to have her back now and have her damage what love I have left for her.<P>With regard to the "I love you" "I know". I got that before too. After a while she replied "I love you too" but explained that she was not "in love with me" It was more the love you have for a sister or brother. Ok that's fine.<P>The last few times she called, before I implimented Plan B, at the end of the conversation she would wait for me to say "it". I had stopped. Long silence, I know what she wanted. I replaced it with "Take care of yourself". She doesn't like that. "Why do you say that like I won't talk to you again?". That's what Plan B is. <P>Chris, try to take a vacation from you problems. Step back and take a new look at what's going on in your life. I did and it made all the difference in the world<P>Hold on Bud, it's a hell of a ride.<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic

Thumbs down to your wife. I just know this, what comes around goes around. No one can escape the wrath of payback (not by the spouses' getting even, but the consequences they set up for themselves)..<P>And I even know that you probably don't want your wife to have to suffer for what she's put her family through, but I wonder sometimes about those who go to this extreme if it's not better for them to be blasted with reality. I think that you have something major to look forward to here, you've done too much so far not to.<p>[This message has been edited by Connor (edited November 12, 1999).]

Thanks everyone. <P>I’m still holding on. Just when I actually talk to her it’s a real bummer.<P><B>NB</B> Let her stomp away. I signed up for marriage for the long haul, for better or for worse, yada, yada.<P>I sometimes feel I am getting the better end of the stick because of what most of the rest of you are going through having to deal with the spouse being around. She was here in May & I had the jitters the whole time just knowing she was in town.<P><B>Rollmeaway</B> Thanks fencepost. I’ll lean a bit if you don’t mind.<P><B>Medic</B> I have talked to her the whole time she has been gone. At first it was a few times a week, now it’s only about once a month. I’m looking at Christmas 2000 for a divorce if she doesn’t wake up before then.<P><B>connor</B> I truly believe when she does wake up, she is gonna have an extremely long fall. If I’m still around I’ll catch her, but if not, <B>SPLAT!</B><P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out [URL]http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html[/b]<p>[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited November 13, 1999).]

hi chris, i think you are right-it will be a very hard fall. (((hugs))) cl

Oh yeah. She didn't say ANYTHING about the card or chocolate or music box I sent her for b'day.<P>"Hi, my name is Donna & I'm a loser!"<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Chris,<P>Are you surviving by using a Plan B, a modified Plan A/B, or something else?<P>I admire how you can plan so far in advance (almost 2 full years since she left... in Feb '99) to hold off getting a divorce (Dec 2000)... Your patience is incredible...<P>I... like many are looking to you as a guide... I think I'm patient too... and more importantly I see my W heading down the same path your W has followed... <P>I pray for you and your daughters...<BR>I pray for your W... <BR>May her fall started by a firm push from the OM...<BR>May her fall be back into your arms and your heart...<P>Jim

Maybe next time just for effect, as you are ending your conversation with her, you could phrase it this way....<P><BR>Oh, Donna? <BR>Yes?<BR>oh, You Know....<BR>huh?<BR>you know.<BR>I know....<P>Maybe it wouldn't feel as bad then. <P>UGGGHHH

There are some of us out there! I have been trying to repair my marriage after H's affair for three years now. I think one of the most difficult things to go through is not receiving that I Love You back. Boy, have I been there. I know that my children have really helped in that regard, because they seem to know when I need a hug the most. If you feel that there is still some hope for you and your spouse, hang in there. Marriage is for better or worse, we're just getting the latter at the moment.<BR>Best wishes

Oh, Donna? <BR>Yes?<BR>oh, You Know....<BR>huh?<BR>you know.<BR>I know....<BR>THAT WAS GREAT!! I MAY USE IT! <BR> <BR>Chris,<BR> I don't remember who it was now but someone replied that their S NEVER mentioned the cards, letters etc... UNTIL AFTER SP moved back.<BR> Remembered EVERY ONE and commented over the year (to date) that they have been "On a year-long honeymoon. I just think that they DON'T because that would open up "THE CONVERSATION" the one they DREAD!! The "Bubble Burster Conversation" I'll call it. <BR> About the "I Know" or "okay" or "Ah HUH" (I hate that one the worst!!) It's funny, they ALLL seem to do it! What does that mean? Harley's right? Hang in there brother. You've been a LOT of help to me I hope this helps a little. FRANK

((((((((Chris)))))))))<P>Don't seem to know what else to say. You're a good guy and much more patient that I can imagine being.<P>Lori

Chris, I know that spot well. Too well.<P>I get " i KNOW YOU LOVE ME, BUT..." or " i care deeply about you, I just dont know if I love you".<P>this is from a woman who was talking about us having another baby this year. The night before she asked me to leave - we were talikng about arrangements for care for the new baby, Now, I am buying furniture for my new house- alone. Christ this sucks.

Hi Chris -<P>Nothing to say but "UGH!!!"<P>Did you find out where she is exactly now? Perhaps she didn't get them yet?<P>Did she thank the girls?<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba