I have read most of the posts on this board and I think I am the only one who is divorced on it. I am trying to move on with my life, but part of me still feels my H has not had time to come to terms with what has happened. His affair began in Feb., I caught him in April,( 2 days before our 8th anniversary). He immediatly wanted a divorce(mad and humiliated) and because of financial reasons and 2 children, I had no choice. I had not seen this website or heard of Plan A or B at the time. By Aug. 31, we were divorced. So you see, in four months everything was over. I don't feel that my H has had enough time to work thru this, he is still involved with <BR>OW. At first he showed a lot of anger and blamed me, now he can't look me in the eye when he picks the kids up. If this is guilt, will it get worse for him or will he learn to live with it? He still hasn't even admitted to the kids that he is involved with her, he lies to them. The OW has had many affairs, I hope she will get tired of him and move on. He has gained a lot of weight, which I take as a good sign. If it ends with her, is there a chance he will realize what he lost?

There is always a chance. Always!<P>I cannot believe you can get a divorce that fast! Sheesh!! <P>You obviously still love him, right? You're here, so I'm assuming so.<P>Pray, if you're a spiritual person, and keep up the no lovebusting. <P>I don't know what else to say. Just wanted you to know I read this, and am here for you. Also, yes, you are the first divorced person I've met on this board. <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

I agree with ~Sheryl here... there is still a chance.<P>The speed with which you got your divorce could have been a repeat story of mine. My wife asked for a separation on Easter Sunday (this year)... filed for divorce 3 weeks later... by the time she moved out(August) we had a propety settlement agreement almost in place... and my attorney said we could have completed the whole thing by the first week in September...<P>Thank God... I slowed it down... and at the end of September I found MB!<P>Now I've slowed my divorce to a snails pace (or even slower)... until she decides to kick start it... then I'm not sure where I will be.<P>Don't give up...<BR>It sounds, like Sheryl says, you could be doing a long-distance Plan A... like many of us.<P>Prayers are coming you way... <P>Jim<BR>------------------<BR>I can dare myself... I'll put a pebble in my shoe...<BR>I can walk... I can walk! I shall call the pebble Dare...<BR>Dare shall be carried... And when we both have had enough<BR>I will take him from my shoe, singing... "Meet your new road!"...<BR>Finally glad... Finally glad... That you are here... By my side...

Thank you for the replies. I think it is sad that a divorce is so easy. It only took 90 days and if we hadn't had children it would have been 30! H was so determined not to look back and so wrapped up in OW. He is a Christian, was very involved in church,(a Sunday School Teacher!). I can't believe he could continue this way forever! <BR>

I also agree with the others. There is always hope. From what you said it doesn't sound like your H is happy as he thought he would be. It is a shame that your divorce happened so fast. I am nearing the end of mine which started in June and is final right before Christmas. Even after he filed I never gave up hope and I think it will pay off. He has tired of the OW and wants to come home. He misses home, he misses his kids, he misses me. I just have to be patient and wait and that is hard. I hope to stop the divorce and have him home before Christmas. As long as you let your husband know that you want him back then there is hope. <P>Good Luck and your are in my thoughts.

My H started affair in October, moved out in February, and filed for divorce the day after discovery in April. In our state he has to wait six months to even request a hearing if the divorce is contested - he is furious that I am contesting it. He is furious that I want to slow it down. He seemed to feel a bit guilty for the first couple of weeks after he moved out, but since then he has just gotten angry when a "normal" person would have been feeling guilty. I don't think he is happy, I doubt that he is capable of happiness, but he blames it all on me. He hasn't been able to look me in the eye since the day he left.