I see him for who he is. The mask is off. My body feels dirty because he touched it. He was in me. I made babies with him. I feel soiled. No shower, or scrub, or spiritual shaman purification can cleanse me. I was married to a man, who turned out to be another man. 12 years of jail. Identity erosion. Emotional withdrawal and abandonment. I need to get out. I feel stuck. I’m stuck until the separation agreement is signed and house is sold. I have to coparent with a stranger. A person I do not know. Under the same roof. This is a nightmare. I cannot wait to wake up and breathe again. How will I ever trust anyone again. I don’t know. Humans are dark af. Wow

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