Hi Everyone,<P>I am sorry but I failed in this relationship. I have to leave Tony. I can no longer go through the emotional and physical abuse. <P>Today Tony was so angry over something. He called me at work and just yelled at me for a very long time. His pattern, of late, has been to yell and scream at me at work about everything and everyone. I asked him not to call me anymore while I was at work to yell at me. <P>I got home and he wanted to do something. I said well what do you want to do. He and I went out to PepBoys to get break fluid for my car. And then we were going to grab a bite to eat. On the way to the resturant I notice my seat had been moved. I asked if anyone had been sitting in it. He got so angry at me. Than he got even angrier because I did not wish to go up to North Conway with his family. They hate me and well I am not that fond of them either.<P>He is still so angry over therapy on Thursday so he was punishing me for that, not wanting to go and not trusting him. After so much I just snapped. I wanted to choke him. Unfortunatly I started to. I stoped and apologized for it. We got home and moved to seperate areas of the house. I had to go to the restroom so I went upstairs and he yelled at me for going in my bathroom. <P>He told me I was insane and started to hit me all over. I asked him to leave but he will not. He is asleep on the couch. I called my Mom and in two weeks I will be in Texas. I really do not care how much of my furnature I have to leave behind. I just can not deal with the mental and physical abuse. I am tired of always having to defend and protect myself. <P>So if anyone in Texas (Austin) knows of a good computer job (product manager prefered) please let me know.<P>I am sorry I am such a failure and I really thought that Tony and I might make it. Everytime I get comfortable in the relationship something like this happens. Sorry.

Pahakissa1:<P>I'm so sorry that things have gotten so bad for you. Petunia and I just relocated to Austin from Dallas five weeks ago. I don't know of any computer jobs, but I know this is a heckuva place to find them. Austin is on top of the computer world, the new Silicon Valley, they say.<P>Look around in the newspaper and online. I know Dell Computers is always looking for good people, but I'm not sure what kinds of jobs they have. Tell me more about your background and I'll tell you if I know of anything off the top of my head.<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>

You have NOT failed. You've done more than enough work. Success is just as much knowing when to walk away as it is making it work.<P>And you have nothing to be sorry for - no one here will blame you for anything.<P>I'm glad you're getting out if he's hurting you physically - abuse is NOT acceptable. Good luck in Texas - may you find peace and happiness ...<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<BR>

Hi LoneStar,<P>I have been working on my MBA/MIS degree. Right now I work for a software. I do it all for a smaller division of the company. I am titled Tech support but I am in charge of the Pre-Sales, assist QA, Tech writing, manage the support server, Have worked on major product deals, Marketing, e-commerce plans. Create new opratunities with other software co, and at the end of the day make sure for the last two releases all the bugs were fixed and report needed enhancements. That is what I do.<P>To be honest I have been looking at monster board. Dell has been coming out in waves. They must be doing major expansions. I hear Austin is getting very crowded. Oh well it is a great place to live.

Hi Terri,<P>Thanks for the vote. I feel awful though. I use to be a nice person and now I am just a bitter shell. I have no confedence and now I have to find a job and get everything back in order. <P>Thank God I have family and friends that would do anything for me. My poor Mom is going to try and see if she can come up and help but she has a really bad back. I hope that my best friend's friend that lives in Boston can help me instead of my Mom. <P>Thank you for the kind words.

Yeah, Dell has been going great guns for a while. Nothing jumps out at me in terms of what I <I>know</I> to be available here, but then, I'm in the lawyerin' bizness, not the 'puter bizness. I know th AG's office, where I work, is always looking for Information Systems people. Don't pay great, but they're in such high demand that it's pretty easy to get the job. Not sure if you're into THAT stuff, but it's a way to get your foot in the door here in Austin. Plus the state benefits plan is GREAT. <P>Hope something pans out for you.<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>

Hey LoneStare,<P>Can you email me the information. I might not be able to be too picky right now. I need a job! If you like you can e-mail me at: onni54@hotmail.com<P>I am going to start sending out my resume left and right and see who calls. I am leaving basically in two weeks and it should take me about three days to get down there. I am just up and leaving. Tony and worry about ending the lease and the like. I have to leave I can no longer stay. I just hope that abanding the townhouse up here will not prevent me from getting a place in Texas.

Pahakissa1:<P>I emailed you the website. Did you get it?<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>

Hi LoneStar,<P>Yes I did get it thanks. I already e-mailed you last night. Thank you for your assistance. : ) At this point anything is really helpfull.

Pahakissa,<BR> DON"T YOU EVER ALL YOURSELF A LOSER AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>You are a very sweet, kind and caring person.<BR>Go to Austin, find that job, and start plan B. Tony has to learn that you are a person too ! <P>I know you love him, I also know you have done all you can . So hold your head up and be proud of yourself for trying. I am proud of you !<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Thank you Deb,<P>How have you been? Things better with Mike? I have been praying for the two of you.<P>I really feel like maybe I am the one who caused all this. I mean yesturday at work when he was yelling and screaming at me I just lost it and told him not to call me any more when he is angry because it does not help. <P>I know he pushed all my buttons and for the most part I really tried. Last weekend I did everything for him. I can not believe that this weekend he was/is going to punish me because I did not want to go shopping in North Conwaay. I did not prevent him from going I just did not wish to go.<P>Who am I kidding for two years he has always punished me for problems in his life. I can no longer be the punching bag. Thank you Deb . Right now I am just numb trying to problem solve how I am going to get my stuff home.<P>I have to admit I do miss Texas even Houston ; ) LOL.

Paha:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.headhunter.com" TARGET=_blank>www.headhunter.com</A> is pretty good. I used it to find my current job about 5 months ago.<P>Good luck!<P>Doug<P>"You don't even know who I am<BR>You left me a long time ago<BR>You don't even know who I am<BR>So what do you care if I go..."

Hi Doug,<P>Thanks for the information. I will check them out right now.

Pahakissa1,<P>NO RELATIONSHIP is worth the abuse!!! Get the H#LL out of Dodge City and protect yourself. Your H has more issues than just the infidelity, and you don't want to be that kind of statistic.<P>I know you feel sad and should. Obviusly, you care for him and want to help him. But, he has to want to help HIMSELF first, and it isn't happening right now.<P>Please take care of YOURSELF. The only person whose actions you can control are YOURS.<P>Keep in touch and wishing you life's FINEST! You DESERVE!!!!<P>Roll Me Away

Pahakissa,<P>Dear, sweet, lady. YOU DID NOT FAIL. There is never any excurse for abuse. NEVER.<BR>It sounds like your H has some very deep seeded issues. This has nothing to do w/ you.<BR>I do agree that it is very wise for you to get out of this relationship. My H is not physically abusive, but mentally and emotionally abusive. This is something inside of them that THEY must come to terms with.<BR>I feel for you. My heart just ached when I read your post.<BR>You need to find your strength again. You need to be safe.<BR>I will pray for you and pray that the Lord touch your H heart.<BR>Good luck to you.<P>God Bless,<P>Cheryl

Pahakissa1,<P>Just wanted to add that you are NOT A FAILURE and that it sounds like you have done everything you could to make your marriage work.<P>There is <B>never a reason for abuse</B> - period. You are right to get the heck out. <P>I agree that Tony has issues that far surpass the affair. <P>Best wishes, and be very careful until you acutally leave (and after, too, of course )<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Hi RollmeAway, CeeCee, and New_Beginning,<P>You are all right he has a lot of issues that need to be worked out. Thank you for the support. Currently this relantionship is not working on so many levals. I am not sure what is happening.<P>Tony and I spent the rest of the weekend really talking. He does not want me to go. No suprise there. Now I am confused. Even if I wanted to I could not leave right now. So I am taking some time for me. I have a major need for the anger to go away (on both sides). This is the first real fight we had that got this bad. <P>Mom wants me to leave and is doing anything and everything she can do. She says I speaking as a battered wife. I know she is affraid I will end up hurt and abandond. I just feel that I need to take responsability for myself and try my best to see what I need to do and not get pressured from everyone. <P>I am just trying to figure out what I really should do. I hope I make some sense because I really feel confused and muddled.