I need some feedback on no contact. Would this include church attendance?

Have you read <I>Surviving an Affair</I>? Dr. Harley says that if you CAN, you should pick up and LEAVE THE STATE to get away from the OP. I think NO contact means just that -- NONE. Find a new church. Yeah, it's a pain the a$$, but the question is, "How important is the marriage?"<P>You can make new friends, find new churches, put the kids in a new school, whatever. The bottom line is NO contact with OP.<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<p>[This message has been edited by Lone Star (edited November 13, 1999).]

Amen, Lone Star!!! (No pun intended.)<P>It means just what he said, no contact.<P>Don't talk<BR>Don't listen<BR>Don't have any opportunity to communicate or have any ties whatsoever.<P>Best is to move away.

Well that's kinda what we thought (we have read the book). We have made resignations of all our duties except for membership at this time. We visited our first different church on Wed nite and did fine, even our kids ages 9 and 12 did ok. They were really worried about the change. They understand (as well as they can). Our Pastor advised "no contact" until they started coming to the same church consistantly then kinda backed off and decided being in the same building (no matter if it was just a few pews over) was ok. I certainly didn't feel comfortable with that situation so we have gone. We feel like some people are looking at us like we're weak or running away or something. I guess they haven't been in this situation. I am so sick of hearing "just hang in there a little while longer" like the OP is just going to vanish or suddenly everything will be ok.<P>Thanks for the input.<P>Keystone- how is your situation going? I haven't been keeping up very well.

No contact means just that. I have not seen, heard, or spoken to OW in over 18 months and I don't plan too.It was difficult at first but it got easier with time.<P>Flip

D & W --<P>Going so-so. Status quo isn't great, but I guess the situation could be worse. On the otherhand, I'm in one of those "valleys" that we all hit a bit more often than we like these days.<P>No contact means no contact. Directly or indirectly. Through mail, e-mail, voice mail, or thrid parties. Even the presence of somebody in the same environment -- like in church -- where the OP's are expected to be there is like deliberate, yet incidental contact.<P>I know your church is important to you and your family. But, it doesn't really matter what other people say -- it's your life, your family -- not theirs. Remember, they'll talk about you even more if you remain, yet your marriage disolves in front of them. Hey, wouldn't that give them something to talk about!!!!<P>Anyway, I, too have bball, softball, and basketball tomorrow with the kids. Have a GREAT weekend, have a laugh, and I'll check in Monday.<P>-- keystone

to the top