Well our house is sold she has bought her house and I will be closing on mine the end of this month. After all that is done she will file for divorse once that is done the chances of us getting back are slim ( if I have been reading the correct books). <BR>She still maintains it has nothing to do with her affair, that the problem is the two of us. I agree that our marriage had problems as does every other marriage out there but if you have and are giving all your emotional energy to someone outside your marriage how in the world could it not have anything to do with it. <BR>I hope she is happy now, I'm not..... I will never agree with divorse.....<BR>

Mike,<P>You never know. Whatever happens, you know that God has a plan for you.<BR>As far as your W being happy, I wouldn't count on that too much. Sounds like she is still in denial and is still very confused. My H says the same thing.<BR>I feel for you. You are a wonderful man. I hope your W wakes up soon and sees that.<P>God bless,<P>Cheryl

mkn,<P>I am sorry for your pain. It is hard to understand how the affair isn't impacting on the situation. Because, of course it is impacting on the situation!<P>But, what she is trying to say to you is, that it is NOT the reason for the divorce. And, though it is very hard to accept, you need to listen to her.<P>Affairs are SYMPTOMS of problems in a marriage. They are NEVER the cause of the original problem. If her needs were being satisfied, she would not have had to turn to elsewhere to get these needs met.<P>Do not misunderstand me, SHE is 100% WRONG for having tried to solve the problem this way! It is a total betrayal of you, and the marriage vows she took. There were MANY other options, that she could have employed, to work in a POSITIVE manner on your marriage. This was a coward's way out!<P>You deserved BETTER than this, no matter what went wrong in the marriage. All marriages have problems, and she, was no more a perfect wife, than you were a perfect husband. No such animal exists!<P>Do not beat yourself up, you did the best you could at the time. I am truly sorry that she did not even give you the OPPORTUNITY, to solve and work, on the problems in your marriage. That was not fair at all. I understand your frustration completely!<P>Perhaps, given enough time and space, she will come to realize, that a marriage is worth trying to save, before you throw it away. <P>Stay strong.<P>~skye

Mike,<P>I'm just checking on you again. How are you doing? Did you get moved?<BR>You need to go outside and look at the moon. It is such a beautiful evening. Take some deep breaths, pray that God give you peace and comfort.<BR>I'm pulling for you, Mike. God does have a plan for you.<BR>Like my dad always says to me, "While there is still breath, there is still hope."<BR>Take care of yourself.<P>God Bless, <P>Cheryl

mkn,<P>I hear the pain coming across in your post. They are some not-so-fun times ahead of you. Know that we are here for you....<P>Roll Me Away

mkn,<P>I'm so sorry for you...<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{mkn}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>This is a most difficult time for you... I know we can all understand your hurt... but few of us can feel it in our guts like you can now...<P>My prayers for tonight will include you (and your W)...<P>Jim

Mike,<BR>My w has said the same thing even though she won't give up on the om. I have started to see a number of things now that did point to problems that I overlooked.<P>I know how you feel, hang in there, things do turn around .<P>God Bless

Mike - I'm so sorry. I know this is so so hard. <P>There is a plan for you. You just have to wait for it to unfold.<P>We're all here for you.<P>Lori

Hi MKN<P>I feel I may have lost my mind completely, but here's a different perspective for you.<BR>I would actually love to divorce my betraying H, to put the pain and anguish of this sad and sorry mess behind me AND then start again, afresh, with him. <BR>I have no idea if my head is in the clouds - he will not even discuss what happened, is happening, the future, or ANYTHING. reconciliation has never been mentioned, all I get is 'I have nothing to give anyone'.<BR>(It begs the question tho' what is OW getting ??)<BR>Anyway, my feelings at this particular time, and I know they change seemingly by the minute, are that divorce could be a chance to start with a clean slate. I don't mean that what has transpired is swept under the carpet, of course not, and the road ahead would be uphill for some time and take lots of work, effort, tears, but also hugs, and rediscovery of each other and feelings.<P>Just a wacky thought!!! Please take care of you, and remember, everything does happen for a reason.<P>Jo<BR>Jo

hi mkn, first (((hugs))).<BR>Your wife remains in a confused state, and though you want to help her, she is not ready. You can only change things within yourself. Perhaps she will get to the point someday soon and that is why you let her know you are there. Take care of yourself mkn. It is hard, but focus on you right now. Find the little things in daily life that mean something to you. Just about anything upbeat can help-it is the perception!! Hey, that light is always red when I am late for work, and today it si green. Yep, just notice the little things.<BR>For skye: there are instances where affairs are not symptoms of problems in marriages, but problems within one person.

Thank you all for responding. This place is a nice safe place, I like that.<BR>ceecee, the moon was nice last night. I hope you had a good night. You deserve one....<BR>RWD,I hope your W comes running back to you. Our situations have a lot of simularities...<BR>Thanks again everyone....