And I'll never go hungry again! Thanks RMA. I know, I guess I think SHOULD be able to handle all this. Someone has to, right?<P>Maybe it wasn't a horrible thing to do. We'll see, I guess.<P>Thanks for the good thoughts.<P>Lori

Lori,<BR>you were one of the first to post a response to me - you have no idea how I felt about that, and about you. Thank you.<BR>What you did happened for a reason - I believe everything we are all doing at the moment we are doing for a reason. You sound so 'together' and rational, and that is what your H knows you to be, that he probably won't interpret the letter as anything other than what you meant by it - that everything IS NOT OK. Maybe it will be the 'slap on the upside of the head' that all these betrayers need (literally, not physically). Your posts and answers to everyone have given me so much strength when asking my questions - (to anyone who will listen including the walls of my house, my shower, my car etc etc etc!!!) I'm having an OK day today, and I'm sending you some of my strength through this post. We all have to realise that we are not alone, we have each other. I'm so new to this infidelity crap, and the internet, but already I feel a kinship with everyone who posts here. You sound as tho you have made some good friends via this forum - believe them when they say you are valued and very worthy. I know I think you are, and I've only been posting for 1 week !!!<P>Love, hugs and xxx from "Down Under"<P>Jo

Hi, Jo, and thanks. Glad you're having a pretty good day today. And really glad I'm not the only one who talks to all the inanimate objects in my home!!! I appreciate your good wishes. Working on glass of wine #2 and hoping for sleep tonight. <P>PS. My dad had just come back from Australia three days before he left us and we were talking about how great it was there!! He had terrific memories of that! Said it was the coolest place!!<P>Lori

Isn't the world a funny place ?!!!<P>Australians love you Americans so much, and you guys love our country so much !!!<P>Why can we all not just be happy with who we are, and what we've got. ??<P>I have very in-depth 'conversations' with my shower, it knows all my deepest darkest secrets and fears. At least it won't blab - like H did to OW about some of our most private things. (I know that he did, because I did the biggest LB of all time, I phoned OW and her mother. OW let a few things slip) I think the mother had been told that our marriage was over before OW came on the scene. She knows better now !! Isn't that some act of loyalty for 12 years together ??<P>Anyway, I wanted to send you cheer, not offload. Have that 2nd wine, and possibly a 3rd, and have sweet dreams. <BR>We have something over here called KAVA, which is from the tree root of some tree (obviously) in the Pacific Islands. It is a natural relaxant, nothing chemical in it. Tastes vile tho'. Maybe see if you can get that over there. If not, and you'd like to try it post through here and I'll give you my email.<P>You're wonderful<P>Jo

Hi, Jo. They ALL say they had a miserable marriage. It's in the betrayer handbook, I think, Page 2!!! Right after my spouse has never understood me!! (Bad Lori, AGAIN!)<P>We do have Kava. Haven't tried it yet. Maybe that's something I should think about. <P>Yeah, my dad had been just about everywhere, and he just loved visiting you guys (business he said - yeah, right!!). <P>Glass #2's over and I'm not the least bit sleepy - exhausted but not sleepy. Gonna pour #3 and head upstairs. If it doesn't work, I'll be back here with the night owls (AGAIN!)<P>Talk to you soon.<P>Lori

Lori--<P>You straighten up, ya hear???? <P>Get some sleeping pills (over the counter) for temporary assistance. EAT !!!! Stop wallowing by being GOOD to yourself. PAMPER YOURSELF!!!!<P>You did a magnificent thing--you were completely honest in that letter to him. You've been glossing over your own problems FOR him for weeks now. Your "giver" has been in high gear, and oops, your "taker" took for a few minutes of his time. Well, whoop-dee-doo. I sure hope he reads it and it sinks in!!!!<P>Oh patient one, as I fondly think of you, you haven't lovebusted. I mean, good grief, everything that's happened, and you finally write a soul-wrenching letter, and you STILL haven't lovebusted. <P>You've got a LOT of class, lady!!!<P>{{{{{{{{{{huge hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>(when you're ready to launch an all-out battle plan, ahem, methinks there's several of us on this board who will happily supply suggestions)<~~who said that????? Oh my!

Lucks, you make me laugh out loud!!! Where's that damned cheat sheet for icons NB made for me?????<P>I'm figuring after a couple of glasses of wine that I didn't commit the unpardonable sin. Hope it hangs on through tomorrow. You're not the first one to suggest I stop being such a mealy mouthed little whimp! (not your words, my dear!) <P>"Oh Patient One" - I love that. I'm still giggling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>He'll be here Monday am - before dawn for the first day of gun season. Won't have the letter by then. I'm seriously thinking of NOT being here w/ nice dinner prepared when he comes out of the woods. Then again.....oh well, how do you compete w/ pop tarts and bacon!!! Maybe that's my ace in the hole.<P>Thanks for being there, Lucks!<P>You guys behaving yourselves??<P>Lori

Uhm, Lori dearheart...might I suggest, right here and now, that you make plans to go OUT and eat dinner that night, with someone ELSE? And stage your exit for his benefit? Nicely, mind you...with gentle longing in your eyes....to startle him into REALLY thinking about what he may lose...<P>(and yes, I realize I can't talk you into this....)

BTW...do you have access to instant messages?

What a Hoot!! Remember, he freaked when I went to dinner w/ his brother!!!<P>If I even KNEW a man, I might try that, but....... then, there's always that 90 year old country music player who chased me around at d's last concert - I'll bet HE'S still available! That was hilarious, you should've been there!! d's friend's dad (an old friend) walked up w/ his daughter and I practically ATTACKED him to get away from this guy!!! He stayed red the whole concert.<P>Oh, well....Keep trying, I guess. <P>Oops - I should drink more often. Shouldn't this stuff be making me SLEEPY by now?????<P>Lori

Yup. ldodge6209@aol.com

Okay honey, here we go again...<P>colon : and right paren ) = <BR>colon : and left paren ( = <BR>semi-colon ; and right <BR>colon : and capital D = <P>You're set now!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited November 13, 1999).]

It's here, NB, I just haven't memorized it and I can't FIND it right now. Thanks for rescuing me!!!!<P>Lori

OOps!! <P>Lori

Lori,<P>Your story has been so amazing to me. I'm a dreadful lurker but recently have felt like I should give back some of the support that everybody has given me (maybe not by posting directly to me but just by posting at all!)<P>I have been praying so hard for you (and everybody else ) So when I read the title of this latest thread I clicked on it with dread. But ya' know...I agree with so many others...is it such a terrible thing for him to know that things aren't so rosy at your house? <P>You are an extremely strong woman and you need to give yourself credit for the stupendous job you are doing. Raising a teenager is tough enough but then to have all this on top of it??? Man..I was tearing my hair out when my 8 yo stepson came to stay for 2 weeks!! How do you parents DO it????? <BR> <BR>Hang in there and know that there are probably a lot of people out there lurking who are praying for you just like I have been. If you don't mind, I would like to tell my mom about you...she has this prayer group that we've all nicknamed the God squad...when they get going things happen <P>Hang in there and take care of yourself. <P>Jodi

Hi Lori, Hi Lucks -<P>Hey, I want to play too!!!!<P>Ya know - I was thinking and Lucks said it before I got on, but I think that you, my dear Lori, just had a bout with what it's like to be IMPATIENT!!!<P>That's what has been out of whack for you ...... you just aren't used to it cuz like me you can pretty much think your way through things.<P>That's probably part of it...so there you go.....you can stop thinking about why you have been feeling this way for a while - answer complete....case solved..<BR>..move to next item for thought process!!! LOL!!!<P>But, I see that you have....what to do on Monday.....Hmmmm? I kind of like Luck's suggestion.....<P>Don't you hate it when you don't know what will help and what will hurt? Dinner or not? Home or not? GOSH!!!!<P>When I am done with this hell, I am not thinking for at least a year!!! LOL!!<P>How you feeling now? The wine kicking in? Hope you sleep well and long..you need it....sweet dreams....<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba<BR>

Jodi - thanks. I think your suggestion for extra prayers for me is very thoughtful and wonderful. I would appreciate it. Thanks for all the good thoughts.<P>Sheba - Impatient - me??????? Why Sheba, you MUST be kidding!!! Ok, I'm trying to be good. Hopefully wine will kick in soon.<P>Heck - I think I stopped thinking MONTHS ago!<P>Thanks a lot.<P>Lori

Lori I hope you finally slept well and don't have a hangover.<P>I know you've tried everything in the book to bring him to his senses. The book says don't let him think you need him. He is not in the book, he needs to feel needed and you've finally told him!<P>I do hope he gets to read his letters. With those letters and a jolt from his friend maybe he'll finally realise where he is needed most. You've been tremendously strong and independent so far and I'm sure he has seen that. If this episode doesn't at least make him think, I don't know what will. You did something very positive by sending those letters. JMHO<P>Good Luck!<P>------------------<BR>It's always darkest before the dawn

Awoken - no hangover surprisingly enough! Well, you're right on one point, neediness is what PT used to get his attention. My Knight in Shining Armor to the rescue!! Just someone else's rescue.<P>I've decided this morning, right or wrong, it's a done deal, I've got to live with the consequences. Thanks for all your kind words. <P>Lori

Lori<BR>I was going to give you a mini lecture last night but my brain was mush.<BR>Now the lecture was on.... it's okay to tell the truth.<BR>So you gave it to him with both guns. Come on girl, admit it. It feels a little bit good to get that out of your system. You didn't write anything that was a lie. Maybe it's time for him to start thinking about someone else. You don't have to be perfect.<BR>You did something human.<BR>If I told you some of the things I wrote and gave to my H you would gasp. But you can't hold everything inside forever.<BR>I'm proud of you!!!!<BR>Let him see a little reality. Now please try to enjoy how good it feels to get it out and don't worry about anyone's reaction. That's not in your control.<BR>Mini lecture done <BR>Lovya. You are gonna be okay!!!!!!