I tried to post last night but itdid not show up on forum today. So this is a test. Also, if thisgoes through what do the icons mean. I can grasp the question mark but am clueless about most of the others. <BR>By theway, I am registered but showed as a junior member. What is the difference betwen just a member and a junior member?<P>Thanks<P>Melissa

The above post appeared so at least I know can post but still curious on other questions.<P>Melissa

Hi Callie,<P>Can't help with answers to any of your questions, i've only been posting on this forum for a week ! Fat lot of good I am!!<BR>It was just nice to realise that someone else was there, it must be so late for you guys. Here in Brisbane Australia it's 8pm Sunday night.<P>Take care, and keep smiling<BR>Jo

The icons are just something to put up to show the tone of your post.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Hi Bonnet<P>It's 4:30 a.m. in most of Texas. My big weekend thrill to stay up late and wonder if he's ever going to see the light and want to come home and then wonder why I want him to. Just now I thought about how I would realy like to fall in love again and then wondered if it was possible with H. I first came to this site a few days ago and reading these posts is so helpful. Just knowing how many others are experiencing similar things. <P>You have a wonderful Sunday.<P>Melissa

Bonnet, Oops, have a pleasant Sunday evening and a good Monday.<P>Chris<P>Hello. I've read several of your posts and found some insight in them. <P>It's way past my bedtime if I'm to return to regular hours on Monday. <P>Goodnight to you both.<P>General question. How do I read profiles?<P>Melissa

Hi back yourself,<P>I just had the WORST Sunday - it was the pits. REad all the posts at "Can't catch a break" and you'll see what I mean. I responded there.<BR>I used to fly with a girl from San Antonia TX, she had the most divine accent. We all used to just 'make her talk' !!! How juvenile!! I wish I could go back to those days, I had just been married, was so happy, had the dream job, dream house, How the hell did I mess up so completely. I'm just about to start going into Plan B - which is no contact. I must admit I'm a bit uncertain as to how that will work with 2 children involved - I'm going to post a new topic to try and get some feedback. I'm also uncertain about it because everything inside me is screaming out that any contact is better than none. But I realise I have to do it. H works with OW, and won't even tell me what he feels for her or me. He says he doesnt know what he feels for anyone, and has nothing to give anyone. !! What the hell is she getting from their relationship.? I realise he is probably lying to me about absolutely everything. This is going to hurt so badly - I hope I can be strong enough to carry it through. Today is my first HFD (Husband Free Day - yay, no contact at all!!!) He is one screwed up little puppy, but then again, maybe so am I.<BR>Take care, and post if and when you need to. This site is absolutley amazing - it has helped me so much in just one week.<P>Jo

Hi Jo (Bonnet)<P>Good luck on plan B It appears to be the way to make them realize what they are giving up.<P>Still haven't read Can't catch a break-I'm hours past my bedtime but will probably read tomorrow. <P>I recommend a book Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy by Frank Pittman, a therapist who strongly disapproves of affairs but who writes in a very realistic and humorous manner. He is not touted as a Christian but I found him very helpful to me. Harley's Surviving an Affair also helped and led to this site but Pittman gives so many more case histories and seemed to cover more situations. Pittman also points out that affairs ruin marriages. Almost all are workable until the affair comes along. I think Harley is right in that affairs are unlikely to occur if spouses are meeting one another's emot. needs but many marriages are not and no one is leaping into bed with someone else. Quit blaming yourself for screwing it up. That was my initial reaction also--If I'd been a better wife it would not have happened. My marriage wasn't perfect but it didn't get bad until H's "friendship" had blossomed. At the time I thought I was overreacting. His schedule got weird, he was spending money that seemed unjustified and other problems but he had excuses I let myself accept. He was withdrawn and unwilling to try to improve our marriage. Now I know my disquiet and frustration were with with a much larger problem than I suspected. Yes I still contributed to his susceptablitly but niether myself or the marraige led to affair, it was the opportunity and his choice tro continue in dangerous waters. You can get Pittman's book through Barnes & Noble Bookstore or Amazon.com on the net. <BR>By the way when we don't have contact it is easier although I miss him and have no chance to do Plan A. I was very angry and blasted him severely in our first contacts. I didn't know about Plans A & B then but they make sense. I recently saw H after several weeks of no in person contact and nearly three weeks of no contact. I could see how screwed up he is. The man seemed miserable and confused. Like yours, he is unwilling to admit feelings and won't commit to marriage or wanting out.<P>Hang in there. I finally met with an attorney and then met w/ husband last weekend. It went poorly. I drove three hours after he agreed to meet with me to discuss a legal separation. He stood me up. I tracked him down. He met for a whie but had to leave abruply when OW called. We own four vehicles and hehad two our of town but he was drivng her truck. I was so upset, hurt and teary after but when I thought about it, it was not nearly as difficult as the fist few weeks after learning the truth. It was a change in going through this mess. This is a change for you that will likely be very rough. But likely you will probably adjust to tolerable more quickly than that first awful shock of the truth. <P>By the way, I really like Australian accents but only hear them rarely. <P>Melissa

Hey Callie, <P>CLick on the sunglasses to read profiles. The difference in a member and junior member is the number of posts. When you have posted more than 31 times you become a member. Nothing to it, just a number set by the creator of the forum.<BR>Icons are just to show your feelings.<BR>When you reply to a post it brings it to the top of the forum page. Totally confused me when I saw a reply one day that said .."Just bringing it to the top." <BR>Hope this helps.<BR>M<BR><P>------------------<BR>Mater<P>

Mater<P>Your help is much appreciated. <P>Melissa