For a while he was playng daddy for the 1st time in 14 years.. then he agreed to me that it really wasn't that much fun dragging kids to lessons and such! What nerve!<P>Then he used nasty ways to engage me... pin me against a wall and grab at me in front of the kids tons of inappropriate stuff...(got mad one day and said "do not touch me again until I am ready or I'll call the cops-nice requests were not cutting it) Asking for ****-jobs at any time AS IF!!!!<P>Now he is boycotting all alcohol...he only ever had 2 beers!!! But now he is taking vitamins, running, no wine with dinner, and he is giving all of us the "silent treatment". He no longer talks of working it out....or wants to "talk" about anything. Not even Pokeman...he actually loves em....and tapes the cartoons...<P>He is staying in his room...the books on getting the marriage together and finding out <BR>what went wrong are now untouched...<P>He is acting like he is "at" it again.....and it has only been 4 months since I found out!<P>He intended to go to a conference at the last minute...for docs and the nurses in his field (drat those nurses!!!) Hey I was a nurse practioner but I have met some sleezy stuff!!! I asked if he had signed up (it was at a Marriot...he said no but he could get in anyway...)the next morning he didn't go! No explanation!! <P>He runs and gets the mail before I can....<P>Yep he is up to something...and from past experience..well ....

Oh, love?, if you think it is, you're probably right. Four months isn't very long. In most cases not long enough to get completely through withdrawal, particularly if he's been sneaking some kind of contact.<P>Keep your eyes and ears open. Try not to lovebust too much just incase he's just "having a moment" of strong withdrawal. But be sure to take care of yourself.<P>I don't suppose there's much chance of talking to him about your feelings, is there? That would be the best thing to do if he's open to it. May not get the truth, but might make him think.<P>Good luck to you.<P>Lori

Thanks Lori,<P>I am getting numb trying to figure all this stuff out and I don't want to be guessing what he is up to...it is still so early ...and I need time...yeah he could be up to stuff and maybe he is just going through a crazy phase or MAYBE he is actually working on himself and it is something I don't recognize as I have't seen it before!!!<P>It is sooooo hard to work on a terrible marriage full of abuse and deceit and nasty, BAD stuff especially at the HOLIDAYS. Some of the kids are attached, two won't be in the same room with him....he has hurt them so much...one of my children left home and is living in an abusive relationship but she said it is better than being home! She gave up her med school and is finishing her teaching credentials so she can get out from under...he even managed to hunt her down on her B'day and made it all about him...<P>I think I need to post a new topic!

I don't know what els to say other than pai is inevitablr, misery is a choice. <BR>Hang In