my H has just left the house again to "return" the birthday present that the kids and I gave him. How can I get over the distrust I am feeling every time he leaves the house? I know that he is still in contact with OW, or she is in contact with him. If I ask him directly he will USUALLY tell me, but of course it just makes him upset that I don't trust him. Plan A is fine if your spouse is truthful, but I'm beginning to think that Plan B is going to have to be implemented. How can I make him leave? I keep trying to talk to him and he just clams up and says to forget it. He won't even discuss what it is that he really wants. I've told him that he must make a choice.<P>I am afraid of what the choice will be, but I must be strong for myself and my children, and they are the ones who have sufferred the most. My counselor told me this would be the hard part, to be strong enough to accept a decision that I would not prefer. It is hard, but no harder than living with my H's ongoing relationship with OW.<P>How to cope?

Hello, and welcome RCoaster, I don't think we've met... but then again, my head is detached from my body quite often lately, so maybe we have...<P>I read your profile... he's been in and out of the house FOUR times? And he won't give up the OW? I think, and I'm sure others will jump in with their opinions, that it's time for Plan B. Yuk, I know.<P>I don't know how you do it... you sound very strong!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

new beginnings - I'm brand new to this and am still learning the ropes, but it is nice to be able to vent.<P>Thanks, but I feel about as strong as a limp piece of string right now. It's amazing, isn't it how everyone can think you are strong for doing something that you just feel is the right thing to do. <P>Yeah, Plan B, yech is right. But, again how do you get them out of the house with the least pain to your children? They have been the really strong ones.<P>

I'll tell you what... I would rather someone who's lived PlanB could tell ya how to do it with the least pain to the kids...<P>I have been on both sides of the fence (betrayer and betrayed) and my H left both times, and I retreived him both times. He did his own Plan B type thing whether he was betrayer or betrayed. Not me. So...<P>SOMEONE CHIME IN PLEASE... <P>Also, RCoaster, check out the thread on Plan B, I think they're getting a support group together... and begin a thread about Plan B specifically... that should help you.<P>Best wishes... <P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>