(note: i am off my antideps for a few days, as im concerned about my expected baby being a little small, so im NOT a happy camper)<BR>H came home last night, as he had to go to his new job today and 'the family home' is between current and new jobs.<BR>He was REALLY late, without a call, and some story about eating out and then getting really sick (he has terrible stomach problems, and uses that whenever he is in a pinch-was he with OW? i may never know).<BR>Finally he was home though, and told some cryptic story about following your heart on the big issues, and i got the feeling that it is really tough for him to be making the decision to move home, so i was super apologetic about being mad that he was late. <BR>I'm not sure about how i feel that he is coming home, and i suspect he is having some heavy withdrawal, so i am feeling really sad today...very distant from him.<BR>I just now called to ask where he was planning to be on saturday (i have long since stopped assuming he will be home on the weekends, and am afraid to ask him his plans), as i want to go out with some friends, and would he watch the 2yo? He said, "I'll make sure he's with me wherever i am", i said, "you COULD be home, yunno,", and he just repeated himself.<BR>Like a dummy, i said, "enjoying your last few days of single manhood?", and he said, "yeah, probably". <BR>I wanted to vomit right then. Why did i say that? Why is he completely oblivious of the fact that i have repeatedly asked him to stay home with the kid when i go somewhere? How could he be such and insensitive jerk?<BR>I just want to crawl in a hole and die. <BR>I feel like i mean absolutely nothing to him, that my wishes are crap, that he undermines my mothering authority when he takes the baby places and won't tell me the truth about where they have been. (OW just thinks he is a lovely baby, and naturally H has never told me she met him. breach of the POJA, or what?!?!?!?).<BR>I'm really fighting the desire to tell him to just not bother, im sick of this crap, and get out of my life forever.<BR>Thank god i can come here to vent <BR>Another crappy weekend coming up...can't wait...<P>------------------<BR>for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part.<P><BR>

I'm sorry you have to go through this right now. All I can offer is my prayers for you.<P>God knows how to lead us up to crisis, and He knows how to lead us through.<P>God Bless

well, time heals all wounds....<BR>i think i'll just tell him to take the boy all weekend, not ask any questions, and use the time to "feather the nest", so to speak-rearrange nursery furniture etc. <BR>i usually dread the weekends, but this one may be the last before H officially moves 'home' and we have to *work* on the marriage, so it feels ok to let him go. He needs to retrieve some jewelry from her safe, so maybe i'll suggest he get it over with, with my blessing (and that he should take this huge ring he has and get a jeweler to design us new wedding rings with it?).<BR>god, keep me this strong for the next week....at least!<P>------------------<BR>for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part.<P><BR>