<BR>I had a friend that died of cancer earlier this year. We had prayed for her healing. She was a devoted Christian, as was her husband. God could have healed her, but chose not to.<P>Can He choose the same in a marriage? Can He choose NOT to heal my marriage?<P>This oughta get some discussion going!

I think that with "free will" comes the fact of broken marriages, bad or good choices, etc. If a marriage isn't healed, it's not the fault of a spouse who wants to make that marriage work, obviously. It's the choice of the partner who refuses to give it a chance and make the choice to help it.<P>Illness, natural disasters, etc. are obviously not occurring by free will, this is nature's actions, and I have heard a lot about the natural disaster theory lately. I know God doesn't want people to suffer, but with life comes suffering, it's inevitable. Living your life as He would like to see it being lived (as best as we can!) is all we can do.

Death is a hard topic to come to terms with. I can only find comfort in taking a "bigger picture" view on things. I choose to believe that this life that I am living now is just a blink of the eye from the universal point of view, this is but a moment of the eternal life of my soul... not to say that it is insignificant, it's not... my body may die, but my soul never will. We all mourn those who die because of our own loss, if we knew what was on the other side, and knew that it was an end to suffering, a place of joy, we would be happy for those who have passed. For my own comfort and peace of mind, I choose to believe that the other side is a place of joy and well being.<P>God gave us Free Will, I believe that when he does intervene, it's only through our choice to let him heal our own souls (Letting Go). I'm so sorry your friend died, to us, from our perspective it looks like God chose not to heal her, but we have to believe she let Him into her heart, and He healed her soul. We have to look at the good that came from her existence with us.<P>He won't choose whether or not to heal your marriage, you and your husband together have to make that choice, and then let him use you, or others who come into your life as the instruments through which the healing takes place.<P>... or maybe I'm nuts... but it works for me... in theory anyway.

Maya,<BR>I have also been struggling in my marriage and have discussed this issue with a good Christian friend of mine on several occasions.<BR>We came to the conclusion that marriages are not always saved just as other prayers that we have are not answered in the way we hope. BUT, we do have the promise that GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US, and he will be there whatever happens. We also have the promise that ALL THINGS WORK TOWARD GOOD FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM. <BR>Thus, when I realized that He was in control and that I could focus on Him as He had a plan. This helped me to get out of the struggle of wondering what to do, as I decided that if it was time to end the marriage, I would know it without a doubt, and if I was still wondering what to do, then I needed to stay. <BR>I work at keeping my focus on God, making myself a better person (which I need to do married or not), and staying away from sin (and not using my circumstances to justify it which a lot of people do). <BR>I am not out of the valley yet, but I know I will be if I keep on moving and not give up.

Thanks for the replies!!<P>I know freewill has alot to do with this. But we are to allow God to work, correct? We can't change ourselves, God has to do that .... If both parties are allowing God to work, and yet the situation remains the same, then what? <P>And when the marriage is still really bad off, is it enough to say, "Well SOMEONE here isn't behaving properly and therefore God can't do anything." <P> Or<P> "You don't have enough faith or God would have healed this marriage by now."<P>Oh well ... I'm giving myself a headache.<P>

Maya, <P>I think you should keep in mind that suffering for doing right is NOT a bad thing. Here on some scriptures that I found and there are many many more on suffering.<P>Romans 8:16<BR>16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: <BR>17 ¶ And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with [him], that we may be also glorified together. <BR>18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time [are] not worthy [to be compared] with the glory which shall be revealed in us. <P>Philippians 1:29<BR>29 For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake; <P>1 Peter 3:17<BR>17 For [it is] better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing. <P>Maya, the simple answer to your question is YES God could choose to not heal your marriage. That doesn't mean He wants you to divorce. While Christ has already paid for your sins (mine too) in that we will not be eternally separated from God, we <B>will</B> suffer the consequences of our sin. The sin of infidelity has its consequences. You obviously played a role in that and so did your husband. God can use this sin for good, Maya. "All things work together for good, for those who love Him." <P>Divorce is the easy way out. It would also cause the most long term damage to all those involved. The right thing to do, is to try and make the marriage work. That will only happen if you and your husband are on your knees <B>together</B> praying for guidance and wisdom in coping with this issue. <P>You and your husband may not be hand in hand skipping through a field of flowers any time soon, but if you and your husband are both praying together for your marriage to heal it can't help but to be blessed.<P>Some are healed from cancer, some aren't. Some marriages are healed, some aren't. We live in a sinful world. Bad things happen to good people. But, that doesn't mean God has forsaken you - far from it. I have found that He alone is the only one that I can truely rely on. <P>Maya, I read a story where a young man had just finished seminary. His wife was pregnant with their first child. He was just called to be a missionary and was on his way to the church to selected to get the final details for his trip when he was killed in a car accident. What a tragic ending for a young man and his wife. Why did God allow that to happen? His wife had the baby and went on to be a missionary herself. You never know what God's plans are. <P>SHA

Just a thought:<P>If God loves all people as his children, and if He doesn't want to see us suffer, why would he require a certain amount of faith from us in order to heal some, but not others?<P>For instance if Maya's friend and Mother Teresa were both dying of the same cancer, would God choose to heal Mother Teresa first because she had greater faith in God?<P>That doesn't make any sense to me. God doesn't love this person or that person more than others simply because one has more faith than the other.<P>The simple fact is that suffering is a part of life, and bad things DO happen to good people. There is no explanation for it other than that God won't intervene and MAKE things happen for us one way or the other. All we can do is look to him for strength and support when making our own choices, and have faith in ourselves for making the choices we believe God would WANT us to make.<P>I don't know how that explains the death of a good person because of a dreadful disease. No one <I>wants</I> to die of cancer. However, some things are simply beyond human control.<P>Wish I had an explanation for it. <P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>

Maya,<BR>Don't be disheartened. God is always talking to ALL of us and does those things that are ALWAYS good. Just because the outcome was not to our liking does not make the action wrong. We must remember that God knows the WHOLE picture where we only have that part which He has revealed to us. Everything He allows to happen or the things He initiates all work toward good for those who love Him.<P>I could take my W's actions yesterday in a totally negative light but I know it is part of the process that she must go through to get closer to Him. I also know that I must continue to love her the way He loves me. I really don't have any stipulations attached to my love for her though she thinks I do. Yes, my flesh wants to receive it in return but it is not required to have the joy that is in my heart. Yes, I am still unhappy and hurt deeply from her treatment of me. I am glad that God does NOT EVER hold grudges. <P>Yet, He is still a just God and will punish when the appropriate time comes. He is wonderful thus the peace that I have in my heart.<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>

Lone Star,<BR>Just because He doesn't heal a person does not mean that He does not love them. If the person truly knew Him then they are with Him now. What better place than to be with Him. They are now not suffering any pain or agony. When He took them they had done all that He intended for them to complete in this part of our existence. <P>We must not try to limit Him to that which we can comprehend Him to be. He is far more than our feeble little minds can imagine. He is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end. We only think in finite terms. He is infinite.<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>

Maya: Do you realize tha God turned his back on Jesus? He was hanging on the cross, suffering and in pain. And God turned his back on him. "My God, My God, Why hast thou forsaken me?" He had to. God had to look away in order to let Jesus die. No harm could come to Jesus while God looked on. He had to turn away, to bring Jesus home.<P>Sometimes God allows "things" to happen in our lives to bring us home, it may be physical death to the person, it may be the loss of a loved one, perhaps your sick and the doctors tell you "it's in God's hands now" (it was always in God's hands) or maybe your marriage is not fairing well. I can assure you of two things, 1. You are not where you should be and God is trying to pull you in, 2. You are living right and God is testing your faith. Either way it will only happen when you let go.<P>Letting go is a topic in itself. What does it mean? I don't know if any of us can truly let go. Could you walk in the fire with the three hewbrew men? Could you stand in the den of lions and not be afraid? Could you drag a cross up a hill knowing what would become of it? These men let it go. Their lives were in God's hands and for that they are with God today. Put your faith in God and do not doubt his power or reasons.<P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

Lonestar:<P>I wasn't sure if you were commenting on my post or not, but I'll take a stab at your questions.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>If God loves all people as his children, and if He doesn't want to see us suffer, why would he require a certain amount of faith from us in order to heal some, but not others?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>First, God never said He didn't want to see us suffer. If there's Biblical proof, please let me know. In fact, it is regarded as an honor to suffer for Christ. As Romans 8:16 states, if we suffer for Him, we will be glorified with Him. Also, the amount of our faith is not a prerequisit for healing. Christ asked God the Father three times if there was any other way for Him to not have to go to the cross. There wasn't, so the answer to the prayer was no. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>For instance if Maya's friend and Mother Teresa were both dying of the same cancer, would God choose to heal Mother Teresa first because she had greater faith in God?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>No. God is no respector of persons. There are no titles. There is nothing anyone can do to impress Him. We all fall short of His glory. He wants us to ask, and sometimes the answer is no.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>God doesn't love this person or that person more than others simply because one has more faith than the other.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Amen.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>The simple fact is that suffering is a part of life, and bad things DO happen to good people.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Amen again.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>There is no explanation for it other than that God won't intervene and MAKE things happen for us one way or the other.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I don't agree with this at all. God does intervene in a <B>very big way</B>. For those who call upon the name of Christ as their Savior, God placed the Holy Spirit in us. That is direct intervention if you ask me. <P>SHA

God does not always do what WE want Him to do. Sometimes there are reasons He lets things happen that we do not see<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Rob & SHA:<P>Thanks for the replies. I didn't necessarily agree that God doesn't want us to suffer. I took that from Connor's post and was just posing a hypothetical. I certainly do appreciate the perspectives.<P>Rob, good point about equating love with healing. Guess I assumed that (incorrectly) from Maya's post. I must be careful to read what's written, not just what I perceive as being written.<P>SHA, I guess I look at intervention of God in a different light. I never have (and still don't) believe that praying for *things* or for events to happen will necessarily make it so. If, by "intervening" you mean that God shows us the way to achieve that which we desire, then I'm with you. I meant it in the more literal sense that if you pray for what you want, God will give it to you without any further effort (besides the prayer) on your part. That's an oversimplification of my point, but I haven't the time or the inclination to explain much further now.<P>Suffice it to say that I don't disagree with ANYTHING you've said, only that I was looking at the terms I used with a slightly different meaning.<P>Thanks for the replies. Y'all have made me think about what exactly I meant and how I could have said it better.<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>