Well, by some interesting means of investigation I found out the name of the i=other woman. She has instigated her way into our relationship and my H thinks I need to just drop it but get this when he talked with her against my knowledge. She said well I can understand what your wife is going through because the same thing happened to me. She asked how I found out and he told her he told me. He couldn't live with himself any longer. She said he shouldn't have told me.All this time we have been trying to make it work and she has continued to stay in the back ground. He has her phone # and e-mail address still. I told him last night he better choose because I will not stand to see her stay in the picture. (I am sorry I will not share my H) When I told him how I found out who she was and how much info I had on her he e-mailed her to warn her that I knew a lot about her. I told him I felt betrayed he was worried about what I was going to do to her. I told him he should be worried about me. <BR> She also told him that, he needed to tell me to stop and let it go because she did the same thing and her husband left her and married the ow. I told him if that is what he wants no matter what I do is going to stop him. He said she was very understanding when he told her it was over and she said she knew he would never leave me for her. She saw the love he had for me every time and that I was all he wanted to talk about.<BR> H wanted to know why I wanted to know who she was because she didn't know who I was. I told him that all women want to know who their competition is. Am I right?

My GOD Spicey2 this is like a replay of 18 months ago. My H's OW said pretty much the same things. Don't panic, but what she is trying to do is instigate confrontation from you (part of the fun) by bringing it up to your H. She would love nothing more than for you to call her up and cuss her out. That would seal her control on the situation.<P>Right now, she is telling your H what he wants to hear. She is maintaining the good guy status while aggrevating your situation and putting you in a position of confrontation and thus the bad guy. <P>See it for what it is and use it for your cause. Right now you cannot convince him of what she is doing, he won't believe you. You just have to be the better woman. Take the fun out of it.<P>I just posted a survey regarding Husband Collectors. Women who are not interested in anything more than an affair with a married man and the "married" part is the appeal.<P>Do not argue with your about the OW. She will win at this point and that is not best for you.<P>Concentrate on being the better woman and eventually he will see it. I wish I could give you some good news, but that is my impression of the facts.<P>I still have trouble with it and I still resent it, but my H never left me and thus I have gained control of the situation.

Essyboo, I knew this is what she g=has been doing I even told my H this. He says he is very disappointed in me and the way I acted. He couldn't believe the person this has turned me into. I always trying to find the good in someone not the other way around. Sometimes I just want to slap him because he is so blind. <BR> I told him the exact conversation they would have if he called her again and he told me I was right. Even down to the "Ant I just want you to be happy, and if staying with your wife will make you happy then thats what you ahould do. But remember if you need me I'll always be here for you." What kind of b**** is this ?