I'm new here, so I hope someone can offer some comfort. My fiance & I have been together for 2 years. Last Jan., he cheated on me w/ his ex-wife (during the week of what would've been their anniversary),I forgave him(after throwing a fit), and we moved in together a month later.I've done well w/ not showing my resentment and anger openly. But lately I've been having dreams and I wake up devistated all over again. This has just resurfaced because the ex just got out of jail recently after being there for the past few months. To make things worse,we have custody of the child now and she calls several times a week to talk to her. That just makes it harder to "forget" what happened almost a year ago. He knows I've been having dreams (more like nightmare) and says he don't know how to assure me that he's faithful to ME and wants to spend the rest of his life w/me. We're planning on marrying in the next few months and I know that I have a problem that won't go away (the ex!) and I can't get my subconcious to get over what happened. I don't want to go into a marriage w/issues like that, but he's truely the one I want to grow old w/& he feels the same way. I'm confident this is something that I've got to deal w/& I've done as well as I know how. Help!!<p>[This message has been edited by exwifeblues (edited November 15, 1999).]

How long has he been separated/divorced?

My fiance went thru a rocky marriage that only lasted 4 years. Of the 4 years, the longest time they stayed together without interruption was 3-4 months. Partly because his then job was a cross country driver. We started dating during their separation (which came 2 1/2 years after their wedding), but the divorce took almost 2 years and they have been divorced since March of this year. (We had already been together over a year at this point)

My soon to be H. told his mother that I'm everything he's ever dreamed of having in his life, which makes me feel a little comfort. I know without a doubt that he is the one that God in heaven delivered to me. He also is everything I've ever wanted. But we're now raising his child from 1st marriage(I have a child from a previous relationship),and our home is now filled w/love and God. If I've got what I've always wanted why can't I get past his cheating? I talked to him about it recently. Concerning the dreams. His only reply was that it was something we needed to pray over and ask God to work on me. I would like to hear from other women who have been thru my situation and learn how to overcome the pain, awake and asleep. I prayed for his ex last nite, hoping that by forgiving her, I might be released from my heartache.